Once upon a midnight dreary, while I pondered drunk and weary, Over many a quaint and curious volume of Buffalo football lore-

What do you get when your roster depletes?

Pretty sure I heard my mom whisper that into the phone a few hours after my dad left to grab some smokes back on Father’s Day 1988.

They get one tie and think they’re too good for him now.

I have nothing truly productive to add to this conversation, only the hope that the motherfucker hurries up and chokes to death on a cheeseburger. Or strokes out or whatever, but I want him to die in a poetically grotesque way.

So I see she’s already had some coffee.

“Horton, Here’s a Poo!”

It’s such an ouroboros of stupidity, DC pisses and moans about people opting to drive or Uber instead of using public transportation and yet no one can figure out how to keep Metro open late enough to allow people to use it after sporting events/when bars close/etc.

I think it would be really hilarious way to score a moral victory if the opposing team, down 82-0, stopped throwing any hittable pitches. Walk 45 runs in in a row. If the batter tries to swing at the horrible non-strikes, bean them. Force the game late into the night, far into the triple digits. In fact, maybe you…

He’s being so incompetent that he’s forcing people into criticizing him way sooner than what would be normal.

Sometimes, you just can’t put your finger on what went wrong. Things just sorta fizzle, and no matter how hard you stump for the relationship, it just doesn’t all come back together the way it was before. Something is just.... missing.

Did you know JPP blew off part of his hand in a fireworks accident? LOL.

Happens with relationships all the time. Things can being going great for so long, but after the fireworks end, you’re left realizing the person you once knew isn’t completely there anymore. You can try to piece things back together, but sometimes it’s best to just part ways.

I can count on my right hand the number of reasons they shouldn’t have traded him.

Nine times out of ten I’m thinking of a smart ass comment to go along with these stories, but let me tell you something. Eleven years ago I ran into Tom Benson at a Starbucks. Was one of the nicest, easiest guys to talk to. An old time gabber who would talk to you about anything. Inside every human is a good soul, and…

Oh no, now the Browns will be bad.

Like most athletes who wind up in Sacremento, he was confused, upset, and looked for any way to get the hell out of there.

I dunno, seems pretty rude of her to step on Lennay Kekua while she’s down.

He’s A Dim Son...

Yeesh. At the home opener they brought out someone from Detroit Public Schools. All I could think was, the taxpayers are on the hook for this half empty building and the kids in the city don’t have textbooks, etc. What. The. Fuck...