I've never really liked fish, lost my taste for mammal. Eel, octopus, and squid are the only sea creatures I can eat without issues.

I would sign a petition to shut down change.org in aheart beat..

And now, he wants poor women who, after being denied access to contraception and abortion, have children (a thing that happens naturally if women have sex) be penalized for having kids?

Do boys typically break in half? Why is he breaking boys in half?

To be fair, I can't look at this picture without thinking she's squatting to drop a deuce.

Far be it from me to question the greater plan, or if there is one, but why do dogs have to get old so fast, and rip your heart out of your chest with their dying breath?

SO MUCH ATTRACTIVE FACIAL HAIR!!!

White folks, y'all need to stop taking nice things like social justice and cheese and making them insufferable. Like, seriously, just stop.

Exactly how long is too long to continuously watch this on a loop?

I think I'm starting to get it.

Sorry, I can't hear you. Benny and I are too busy doing this:

Swoooooooooooon

It took me two years to realize that Amy Adams and Isla Fisher are two different people.

I am here for you.

Whatever. F U Jezebel.
How about addressing the bullshit piece on Vogue and Dunham?

Actually, her twitter response was much better: "Way cooler when people do things out of pure blind spite than out of faux altruism". Faux altruism describes this whole shitshow perfectly.