Seriously, thank you for this article. My loins and I appreciate it.

Welp, I'm done for the day. GOOD NIGHT FOLKS.

Yeah, they're not. Unless you're saying that I don't actually love my husband, and that we don't actually have any responsibilities in our lives, despite me previously being a caretaker for my elderly mother as she slowly died from cancer, and despite us holding down a couple of intense jobs.

You're a mom, so yes, "you moms." I've never met a mother who didn't go Sactimommy at some point, intentional or not. And yes, most of us child free folks have had these things said to us. So again, we'll avoid giving you (general you) motherhood advice, and you (general you) can avoid telling us how much we're…

Sounds good. As long as you moms avoid saying things like "You'll never know what REAL LOVE is until you've given birth" and "You don't know what REAL RESPONSIBILITY is unless you have a child" Oh, and (one of my personal favorites) "I grew another human being. What's YOUR superpower?"

Excuse me while I harvest my Moon-Time blood to perform sacred rituals while dancing nude under the starry sky. Patriarchy be damned, I can finger paint the secret rites of wymmyn on my body with my own blood and run around in public as a big middle finger to THE MAN who wants to keep me and all my sisters down by…

Clearly, this means that you're ashamed of being a woman and secretly hate yourself/long for a penis.

OH FOR FUCKS SAKE.

Holy shit, a Deen-Deen collaboration would be PERFECT. I mean, not for porno. But for a cooking show. Or something. NOT FOR PORNO.

Seriously, Beebo Baggins is brilliant. I love it.

I hate humanity. I'm hoping that some catastrophe in the near future wipes us fully, or almost fully, from the planet. We're awful creatures, and don't deserve this place.

Thank you for my new FB profile picture.

Of course they fucking did.

"professional black men."

I want to recommend this comment one billion times.

I know, right? What the hell is that?