But...but...but...Harry Potter!

If ever there was a more punchable face...

The “Wooo!” at the end really makes it.

Wait, what about that was funny?

Thank you for not calling it a bicycle kick. THIS is a bicycle kick.

An artificial whitewater course is a lot different than doing laps around a concrete building.

Because people are going to pay to kayak a moat on any of those days?

Yep, any of the Mannings, in fact. Cooper's never done anything to wrong our city, but that doesn't stop me from loathing him.

Hot taek: I couldn’t care less that Bonds used steroids, but he’s still an asshole who incessantly lied through his size 8 head and it is not one of the best and most welcome developments that he is back in baseball. I am a Padres fan who harbors a lot of jealousy and rage.

I can't wait til all these old guys die.

You’re over-googling. You can just type "bautista bat flip."

I am Asian and I love milk (can't drink it anymore, though) and I hate fish. Life is hard.

I like your username, but not your logic. Osweiler was a big prospect, so whether or not Elway's son was his roommate is kind of irrelevant. They needed a QB with potential, so they drafted one. And you can't really use this as an example of Kubiak disastrously juggling QBs. They won the Superbowl.

Good acting does not equal good personality. It becomes much easier when it is all written for you. The difference between “great personality” Peyton and boring Eli and Tom Brady is that he can deliver a joke.

Because they have to make sure they get their money quotes exactly right.

Your knowledge of pretentious Ivy League drinking habits is frightening.

“Probably just....going out to eat." is a meme now, right?

I learned beer pong from a bunch of Duke jagoffs who called it Beirut, too. I will never call it Beirut because nobody ever knows what the fuck you're talking about. It's beer pong. And no, nobody ever plays beer pong with paddles.

James Posey and Raef LaFrentz ftw.

You've obviously never read a Kanye tweet.