Like my mother always said: "Life is like a box of chocolate. You never know what you're going to get." But in my case, that box is my asshole and you know what you're going to get: A face full of dingleberries.

This questions is probably harder to answer than you think it is. You can only have your heart wrenched so many times.

Never realized how quick-twitch Rovell is.

How did Marvin Harrison make it through basically his whole career without letting people realize he's a huge asshole?

“Why don't YOU get into politics?" = "It's not my problem. YOU fix it!"

I love how Cousins just snatched Rondo's arm. That made the situation look worse than it really was. Icing on the cake was Rondo looking at his hand at the end of the clip. Almost injured him, Boogie!

Yeah, I don't get it either. That twitter convo seemed friendly.

That wasn't a windup.

The three that he hit in the 3rd quarter, that bounced around the rim before going in, had to be from 28 or more. No?

Not to be an ungrateful asshole — because this video is cool and good — or a typical 2016 Warriors fan who comments on Deadspin, but in response to Oscar Robinson’s recent comments, it would be really cool if you guys did one of all the times Curry has hit 3's while being draped by defenders.

Jesus Christ dude, just shut the fuck up. You aren't the victim.

I used a real ruler, but I just put the ruler up against the screen, and the screen ruler was about an inch longer. So,yeah, that ruler is bullshit.

That was the best part.

I think it's my freakish lack of webbing.

The Warriors are my favorite team, Albert Burneko is my favorite internet writer, and this is my favorite piece of internet writing.

You all have huge hands, because mine stretches to 9 inches and I can still palm a basketball. I can also punt a football roughly 25 yards.

Do you think he would have used it if the whole point of the article wasn't to highlight that ridiculous play?

It's amazing to me how defensive someone can get. This is just one of many reasons everyone hates New Englanders.

You just keep yawning. I thought maybe you could use some sleep.

Jesus Christ. Just go to fucking sleep already if you're that tired.