Looks like Diego Maradona went and bought himself a beard trimmer.

Chris Webber is not fantastic. Whatever the opposite of fantastic is, that is what Chris Webber is.

How many Beyoncé's does it take to write an album of the year nominee?

Wait, Tom Brady!? Holy shit, what are you doing on Deadspin? LOLOLOL

Now this is original. I think you might be the first person ever to notice that Mario Balotelli and Mario Batali have similar names. Kudos, Tom.

Yes, thank you. I just wanted to point out that really, Balotelli had little to do with the result of the play, besides sticking his foot out and hitting a point blank shot.

THAT TOO.

#WeWantTheHighlightTruth

Adam Lallana Forces Balotelli to Do Good Thing On Soccer Field

No he's not. Like, 100% no he's not. But keep your pipe dreams alive!

And to be fair, I am not a Beck fan. I am a fan of real artists, though. And I wholly disagree with anyone who says or implies that someone like Beyoncé "deserves" the award more than someone like Beck.

How many of those does Beyoncé play?

Counterpoint: Absolutely DO get a cart! I've golfed with plenty of clients and strangers alike who I've had to make small talk with. You know what we talk about? Golf! It has always been friendly and pleasant conversation. Every single time!

"All songs written and composed by Beck Hansen."

oof. *his

I was bummed when Kent Bazemore left the W's because it meant we wouldn't get to see him bench antics. I was hoping to see him lead the bench last week, when GSW played ATL. Alas, he actually gets minutes now, and it bums me out.

Not to be a truther, but Klay did it in one quarter. Okay, okay...it was only 37 points. But he did it on 13 shots, and he wasn't dominating the ball.

Do Grammy voters put any consideration into who actually writes the album? Because, you know, Beyoncé only sings. Someone else wrote that album. Someone else played the instruments (instruments? Computer.), and someone else composed them.

How did that guy not burn his dick off?