I think I’m going to put “must be willing to share HBO Go password” in my online dating profile. I pay for Netflix, my daughter pays for Prime...I need a dude with HBO Go.

Oh for fuck’s sake.

Maybe it’s me, but I find “topless” is such a weird word to use for a toddler.

I was about to say “Who can see this as sexual in anyway?” And then I remembered Jared. Even still: get a grip, folks. What is it specifically about American society? A half-nakey two year old (their natural state) isn’t…

That was goddamned delightful.

Diversity? Shhh, Matt. The grownups are talking.

Ahem...

Of course by “Mexican” I mean anyone darker than Trump’s chosen shade of orange. He’d never know the difference.

THAT’S WHAT SHE SAID!

Come on over! We’ll have an anchor baby and you can bring all your family.*

Right there with you! JAAAAAAAAAAAAKKKKKKKKKKKKEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

That bottom .gif? I kind of remember the line being “Call me later if you want me to do that thing you like.”*

Prince Gregory*. I guess it works.

It’s up on CBS.com right now!

Why the fuck would they give their fictionalized bullshit version the same title as the actual documentary? They call it a “remake,” but can you remake a documentary that was filmed in real time?

Just FYI, the OPD spokesperson’s name is Johnna, not Joanna Watson.

Typical. Piggy stays by his side through the good times and bad...and then he dumps her for a younger version. Who’s the pig here, frog?!

Mark, how have we not met?! I frequent the same “pharmacy” (because it’s around the corner from my place).

Jorge Ramos can get it. (Wait was that not the point of this post?)