You assume everyone has access to awesome Internet speeds.

I think you’re undervaluing LaVine’s sweet dunks.

Seriously, he had multiple chances to just hoof the ball literally anywhere in the air. This is up there with the dumbest plays I’ve ever seen a keeper make. This cost them a much easier run to automatic qualification. A truly astounding fuckup.

Lloris brings his Spursiness onto the global stage.

That’s how Donovan used to be, but I think we’ll have more than just one guy like that next cycle with some of these attackers we have playing in the U20s. The technical ability is starting to grow.

Man, was I spectacularly wrong about this match. I really thought it was Thiem’s time to get a huge win under his belt and he got steamrolled. Yikes.

I can agree with that. Can’t wait for the inevitable toldyasos to come out after Sunday because I don’t expect us to get a result. I’m just gonna continue enjoying watching this guy play.

I dunno, but last time Mexico played them the score was 1-0 and should’ve been 1-1 but T&T had an onside goal ruled offside. If you believe we always blow lesser CONCACAF teams out by like 5 goals, I don’t know what to tell you. There’s years of data that show otherwise.

I’d like us to put to bed the “It was just [insert team]” line since he gets significant minutes for one of the top teams in a top European league and doesn’t look out of place whatsoever. It’s not like we don’t have tape of him playing well against tough competition.

Have you been watching the U20s? There is some serious talent coming up in the next few years.

Thiem in 4 sets.

If a girl I was dating INSISTED I take a shower in that situation when I am tired and don’t feel like I have to shower, I’d consider ending that relationship. You’re in for a lot more nonsense like that in the future. I mean, really, it’s a god damn hotel. The shower is probably dirtier than I am.

Prediction: He’s going to beat Nadal in fewer than 5 sets.

Rape cases are notoriously hard to prosecute. Thankfully for the victim, King was dumb-as-rocks enough to KEEP A VIDEO OF THE ASSAULT ON HIS PHONE.

Oh yeah, he got progressively more rapey as it went on.

We’ve all been Harper here. We all have that one friend who likes to mouth off to strangers at bars or a music festival or something. When shit goes down you totally delay entering the fracas until it’s clear he’s in trouble then you step in and break it up. Sorry bud, but you have been out of line all night, I…

Then you remember that a lot of baseball pitchers are just the absolute worst and it makes sense.

I have a friend who is an extraordinarily bad tipper. When I meet him for lunch and he pays, I always make sure to find a way to leave a proper tip.

I have a rule for potential friends. If it becomes apparent that who pays for what in splitting situations will always be a damn production, I’ll just not become friends with that person.

Yeah, this isn’t a new concept at all.