I want Seth Rogen to be my friend. I want his laugh in my life. I want his weed in my life.

Well I have eyes, so yes. Put it this way, her ass is as real as her nose, as her breasts, as her mother's nose, her mother's breasts, her mothers stomach, her grandmother's breasts, her grandmother's nose, her grandmother's facelift.....and so on. Her instagram shows she comes from a family of women who are head to…

Unfortunately the Kardashians don't scurry under the refrigerator when someone shines a light on them. They just turn and pose indefinitely.

#NeverForget

Legitimate reasons for fans to storm the court, in my opinion:

He's just angry that his toupee almost fell off.

Hey there.

Every woman should have been on their damn feet!

What show are you watching, because it must not have been the fun and yes, awesome, performance I watched. I could not stop smiling.

Are we gonna talk about the bit where Kanye approved of Tyga "getting in early" with Kylie?

The best possible outcome is if Dunham ends up being the person who finally kills Quinn.

What'd she order, Fish Filet?

ADULTOSAUR in: THE ACADEMY PERSON

"When a movie about black people is good, members vote for it. But if the movie isn't that good, am I supposed to vote for it just because it has black people in it?"

Agreed. But Stone has the comedic timing and the charisma to pull it off for the most part, I think. Better there be some tribute to Radner than none at all, too!

This is really bad, but here it goes.

The flyaways on this Heidi hairdo were WACK on TV. I cackled because I am a mean-spirited bitch who was happy to see Igloo Australia looking basic as fuck tonight.

I know you're all here to see Billy Ray Cyrus.

In five years or so, Perry and Swift are going to finally realize that they are actually in love with each other, get married, and live happily ever after. And they'll get matching restraining orders against Mayer as wedding presents to each other. Calling it now.