It’s really fun to sing “Rock Me Amadeus” but replace “Amadeus” with “Chimenea.” I guess I’m usually drinking when I’m near a chimenea. Enjoy your burn.

It’s metal, though.

Like you, my husband is raising my kids from my 1st marriage as his own. IT IS SO HARD, and parents like you and him don’t get nearly enough credit. Thank you from a grateful mom! You’re a spectacular human.

Exactly. She is in phenomenal shape and could wear anything. That Met outfit was atrocious and screamed low EQ to me.

The American education system doesn’t include choking prevention in its standardized testing regime. Since it’s not on the test, schools don’t cover topics such as “how to avoid swallowing small toys” or “how to think critically.”

Lick your wounds, then thrive! Fuck the assholes, they’re a tiny blip on your amazing existance!

Oh my god, starch your shirts, bozo.

Weinership Down

What if you ate with your butt, and pooped with your mouth?

No gays, no croissants, and slave labor... what’s not to love?

Pretty sure Tom Cruise avoids carbs. :-)

IS THAT A DICK OR WHAT?!

Several years ago I read an item about kids who came home from preschool one day telling their parents about “a scary man” who visited their class and san songs. The parents investigated. Turns out it was Bob Dylan. His grandkid was in their class.

In Nashville, there are TONS of musicians who can’t make it in mainstream music, so they switch to Christian genres. It’s sort of like Europan league football for country singers.

Of course! We joke that he had a similar reaction to my house, for the exact opposite reason.

I guess my point is that he seemed like a psycho, but turned out to be normal. I suspect there are situations where the converse is also true. So let’s look out for each other and learn the warning signs.

I was dating a guy. The first time i went to his apartment, he offered me a bottle of water. He opened this immaculate, perfectly organized fridge: Labels forward, rows like a military cemetery. It was some serious Sleeping With the Enemy looking shit. When he left the room, I checked the pantry. Same thing. It was…

Pedal soft? Ouchers.

Pedal soft? Ouchers.