I liked that part where you changed what he said to make your point fit better.

I live in Maine so....no? I liked Prague better.

Well, there was definitely several "penalidads" to go around here XD.

Roger Goodell has issued a statement claiming to be unaware of any existing footage of the aforementioned "fight."

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA oh god I just coughed some pretzel up.

I'm a big fan of what's called paleo-nutrition, so our children eat foods that our ancestors have been eating for millions of years … That's the best way to protect."

Livingston tried to mimic Curry's pass without the ball but couldn't do it, yet he did manage to tear his ACL for the 6th time.

/throws ball into elliptical machines

Surveys have shown clearly that horses fucked by Snyder have enjoyed it and find it a positive uplifting experience. It is a source of great pride for horses everywhere that Snyder in fact chooses to fuck horses in the first place.

The idea of Dan Snyder fucking a horse is completely crude and unnecessary, Kyle. I hope you're sued to the highest extent of the law by that poor horse.

By my count, that's:

"Football was more important to them than saving children."

Like, why the fuck would she leave her couch there?

Jim Tomsula refers to tomato sauce as "gravy."

Correction: That's Chuck Pagano's dad gnawing on his cigar while watching someone gnaw on Brian Wilson's daughter's asshole.

nah, that's Roseanne's daughter

"Sorry, I thought you were black."