this is the apex of the vortex of why deadspin has turned into such a gaping pile of millennial shit. i’m serious. just walk off a bridge. preferably one situated a long way above a frigid body of water. the brooklyn bridge sounds good. i won’t be sorry. judging by the tone of this letter, you won’t be either.

I read this. And read this. and I realize I’m that jaded tour vet. I’m not even sorry though .

there you go, squealing like a pig again.

You CAN feel good about Hood. So jealous of that guy.

fall 97 was great though, right?!?!?

Posuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuummmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

It’s: not the same thing as its. English is tough .

it’s so hard to sit here and read these statements. As if any college athlete ever truly wrote it. As if any college athlete were ever truly sorry. He hit the the shit out of a girl. The sneering insincerity of it all. It makes me want to not watch sports ever again.

You too?!?! Life sucks, right?!?!

this is really, really dumb.

always sports bra truthers.

petty sarcastic, basement-level bullshit that doesn’t qualify to be called an op-ed. It’s like gawker never went away. I wipe with this.

On the third day, Tebow’s career rose from the dead, and then smacked a donger that ascended into heaven.

i love this, but let’s face it- everyone in an MLB uniform is being paid waaaaaaaayyy more than his true market value.

how much could i offer you to stick your head in a full bathtub until you stop breathing?

bullshit. You...You realize that ball was totally catchable, right? And that the interception is Tolbert’s fault. Don’t believe me? Just watch the tape.

YEP.

I’m not sure I really understand this dude’s argument. I agree it’s good to act locally and globally, but if I’m more concerned about access to Planned Parenthood than other international issues, that doesn’t make me a bad person and I should be able to give accordingly. Yes?

Nothing is too pathetic and stupid to be below Deadspin’s radar.

Speaking of bad, this last sentence is bad grammar. Still, I like your overall position.