I signed up for Planet Fitness online w/o touring it (because: budget). I was a formerly fit person. Now I'm an unfit person. I hate that fucking place and wasted my money.

"It is a little insulting because, I'm like, God

Unite to block job recruiters, ending that industry once and for all.

I thought this was called jumping...

Finally, a Bleacher Report article without a slideshow.

What's the BPL?

Well, considering Arsenal celebrated like a League Two side when they beat Liverpool (whom they're ahead of in the table) at the Emirates, thanks to Howard Webb...

No.

At the college bar I used to work at, the staff had to clean the bar. We had at least 10 employees each year who quit after their first rendezvous with the Women's bathrooms.

From wikipedia:

As fun as it is to rag on Smeagol, it's all warranted, because it took him almost 30 games to figure out that Kagawa shouldn't be played out wide as a traditional 4-4-2 winger. Moyes doesn't have the tactical guile to use his glut of attacking players correctly, and should they land Kroos, it'll be more than just…

I feel like maybe you've never experienced the genuine thirst-quenching refreshment of Lime La Croix in a glass with ice.

he looks like a penis

Is "not wanting to smell bad" included in "uncomfortable with pubes" or is it a category this article has overlooked?

There isn't anything illegal about this if there are prescriptions for the pot and codeine.

for alleged possession of what they initially believed to be cocaine (sources now say the substance might be Ecstasy or Xanax).

Paging Jolie Kerr

Why the fuck would you be worried about that? Who really cares about what sponsor is on the kit? You honestly think Samsung is bringing that much more to the table than some random Russian company?