I’m trying to imagine situations that might need a reasonably priced corset in a hurry.

Asphyxiated areolas would be a good album name though.

What. These things are still worth something? I had a friend when I was a kid who was a collector... maybe I should look her up.

I’m not pregnant (unless a spaghetti baby counts?), and I don’t even look half as fabulous as her. #fashiongoals

Always buy pie.

Hahaha, I just ate some chips and I rubbed the crumbs all over my skirt, I’m still internet shopping, and I have a test on Monday. I’m also drinking wine. I thought a glass would help open my mind for studying but yet here I am...

Thanks for the tip!

Hooray! I’ll drink to that.

You must be me! I’ll keep spamming everyone with my poor accidental rhyming skills.

Ooh, now that seems like a good procrastination technique. I am highly distractible!

Of course! I like to spend my imaginary lottery winnings too... I’m probably not going to do any work tonight and panic buy lots of lottery tickets tomorrow. I’m not very organised.

Hm, so strange. I’m not grey on Millihelen anyway, but I’m not very good at make up or wearing clothes in the correct way. I like commenting anyway. Why do I keep typing in rhyme tonight?

Haha, you get me!

Yuck. I used to hear my neighbours fighting while I was in the shower. So I would just sing really loudly to drown them out. I can’t sing. I sound like a chain smoking seal.

Yep. I like to eat my buttered foods in peace.

Sometimes it’s literal assholes breaking your long silence. I hated hearing neighbours poop the most.

Agh, cowards! I don’t understand how they could know and not say anything. Mostly I just don’t understand how anybody can do these things and not die of shame and guilt. Damn entitled narcissists are everywhere these days.

It takes a lot of internet shopping (I mean looking at stuff I would like to buy because I’m poor), wine, snacks, stretching, commenting on here (my new habit!) and anything else I could possibly be bothered to do before (have I ever even dusted anything? Maybe I should start) I can do work these days. I’ve slipped…

I hope you can get it sorted out! Hearing strangers annoys me so much I had to move to a house that’s not touching other houses.

The poster baby for the term ‘cutie patootie’.