Just write the URL for this page in the box.

I mostly just think of spaghetti.

It wasn't exactly a proposal, but my abusive ex would always be like "when we get married, our ceremony will be like this...blah blah blah, our love is so amazing, blah blah blah some bullshit!", and I would be like "lololol" (on the inside). I just changed the subject. DOES THIS COUNT? No? Cooooooool.

I would wear a tent in a heartbeat. THINK OF HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I COULD EAT BEFORE GOING OUT.

High waisted black skinny jeans are my dream! I guess I'll just have to live with my shape, I mean I suppose I'm not going to fall over that easily if all of my weight is on the bottom.

Good catch, I'll be wearing my tinfoil hat in honour of Amber Rose today. #solidarity

It looks like a case of chronic resting bitch face.

I will never look at Tabasco sauce again without thinking of dog poop.

Palin is just eating up all of poor Swift's elbow room. Not cool.

I just have fat, wobbly thighs, but I think there's muscle underneath. I was a lower weight for a while and even though my ribs were pretty visible and I had no boobs my legs didn't change much.

Shopping for jeans is so confusing. I get really disheartened any time I try these days. I'm really pear shaped, so I have a small waist and flat stomach (26") in comparison to my big hips and legs (lots of junk). Generally if it fits in my legs there's enough room to store a turkey in the waist band, and otherwise…

I'm always freezing, so bring it on, menopause. You've met your match.

Ah, the old annual boob worship controversy. It's as old as time itself.

I will just keep commenting with my right thumb until I fall asleep.

It must suck for all their guests who were also at the first wedding. I would just skip the gift this time.

I wish he would fix my pant leg. I hate fixing it myself like a peasant.

I can't do it. I just hope 'Shake It Off' comes on the radio when I'm driving alone so I can crank that shit up and sing along. Shhh.

This is my life. AND BUTTER. SO MUCH BUTTER. Milk just makes me fart and gives me acne. Not worth it.

When I was younger I used to put eye make up on before going to sleep because I liked how it looked so much! Also I'm lazy and not a morning person.

"...My prick is still hot and stiff and quivering from the last brutal drive it has given you when a faint hymn is heard rising in tender pitiful worship of you from the dim cloisters of my heart. "