But as the relationship progresses, do women assume more of the emotional labor? Sure. A key example of all of this is Rocky and Adrian. Adrian was dull as a doorknob and really gave Rocky a hard time in the first movie. But she became an ultra dependable rock for the rest of the series.

We are talking about people meeting and going out on dates. So, yes, Western society squarely expects men to be the “important drivers” of those social interactions.

“Get a fucking grip. Empty out your junk drawer full of micro-aggressions and get the fuck over yourself.”

“If men don’t feel they have the social skills to manage relationships, they need to LEARN THEM. Just like we women have had to do (or get disproportionately punished.”

“ugly dudes have been rejected for years”

Maybe, possibly, in fact, yes. It seems like in the US it is expected that people will just bow down before the altar of “interracial relationships” and worship it with reverence. I have always had a more discerning eye. It seems like many people in IR relationships are really just making do with their available…

Yeah, and I remember seeing Ted Danson play an extreme nerd in Body Heat (1981), and the next year he stars as super sexy Sam Malone in Cheers.

Yeah, that was pretty shocking. We hear a lot about beautiful actresses being “plain” in show biz “TV Ugly,” perhaps this exists for men as well. This phenomenom clearly is much stronger for women than for men.

I really have to wonder if you’re giving me the whole story. You say these men are unexceptional, but let’s be honest, any 57 year old man who can consistently date women who are 20 and even 30 years younger than him must be doing something right. I really have to wonder if you’re looking in the wrong places. Also,…

Your physical appearance seems quite a bit higher than average to me. I have no idea why you are getting so little attention. What dating website are you using? I will also echo what another commenter said to you, getting even one message a month is about average for men, and men rarely get hit on by women. I wonder…

This website frequently publishes articles on the marginalization of minorities. Frequent articles on the denigration of black women’s hair, frequent articles on the lack of models of color, frequent stories of black women being called, “pretty for a black girl.” And I empathize with all of them. You probably do too.…

Most of the women who I met through volunteering came on to me. Which is fine. I am perfectly fine with anyone doing that. I even dated one of the paid facilitators. The idea of attending hobby groups to meet people came from another poster who is female. I think that people should not pretend to enjoy an activity…

This man was a horrible person. his crime was indefensible.

I agree with both of these points completely! In fact, I really wish he had committed suicide and not killed her, because A) she didn’t deserve to die, B) she didn’t deserve to die, and C) this conversation would be more about male loneliness and the problems of modern love.

Yes, those are all other examples of gendered terms. I won’t dispute that, neither will I call you a loser.

Dating is clearly more competitive than friend seeking. For instance, friends don’t need to be exclusive, whereas dating soon becomes exclusive. Some people might be jealous of their friends, but by and large, the vast majority of people are ok with their friends having other friends.

Default expectation of better social skills:

Are you a non-Asian women married to an Asian man? If so, cool You’ve probably noticed there aren’t that many of you.

Well, good for you and your hot wife.

I only started to discuss myself after another person told me to “grow a pair,” and was mocking my “perceived victimhood.” Sure, I then started to discuss myself, but am also pretty upfront about acknowledging my unearned privilege.