I’m rooting for these crazy kids to work it out and find an amicable resolution - like him giving her all his money after a judge slaps him with a restraining order and sentences him to chemical castration.

Just looked her up, they look a lot alike!

I would SO love to watch a version of Little Women where the March family is Black. Mr. March choosing to be an Army chaplain in the war would be so much more powerful. I feel like Jo would be dark-skinned, while Amy tries passing for white while she’s in Europe. It would be so fascinating.

if they don’t change the ending to Laurie and Jo, I don’t much care.

General rule: if something you do can be compared fairly to something Ted Bundy did, stop doing that thing.

Because if there’s anything we’re missing right now, it’s stories about 19th century white women.

Holy fuck, is Wilkes-Barre the bleakest place on Earth? Jesus Christ, I’m thinking that cat intentionally buried its head in a jar to escape reality in that shithole.

You are one cranky droid.

Listen, Stout, you are NOT taking into consideration those of us who don’t get Thanksgiving, American or otherwise! It is Not Fair to ask us to go without yelling at our racist uncles for that long.

I’d rather have a new Beyoncé album than a joint one.

How do we know Steven King wrote all those books himself? 

Actually, not true. Children born abroad to a US citizen are considered natural-born. That’s why Walnuts McCain (Panama) and the Zodiac Killer (Canada) were both able to run for president.

Yes, it’s genius. Harry can get his son to be President of the U.S. easy - all he has to do is raise the kid with American citizenship and live in the U.S. for a little while. Then once he’s inaugurated, Harry just has to kill his dad, brother, nieces and nephews, and then himself sothe kid can also be the British…

Would a return to a British Monarch really be so bad when apart from Obama the last several Presidents speak for themselves when it comes to Americans pisspoor choice of leaders.

You kid (maybe) but the conspiracy theorists are already out in force.

Two cheeses enter, one cheese leaves.

No younger pretty boy shall upstage Mr. Cruise, and so they will be subjected to ugly and unthreatening facial hair.

*British accent*

Now I’m trying to picture Clive Owen doing an Owen Wilson impression.