I hear you. Every time I see a pregnant person my first thought is “oof that babys gotta come out of there one way or another.” 😬 No thank you.

The artist really lowballed him/her self with that $20K price tag. We all know Trump is vain af, give him a chiseled jaw and make him look 50 lbs lighter, and he’d likely pay any amount of money to have it.

I’m not even exaggerating my 83 year old grandmother looks better than Kellyanne Conway. 

I mean he had to see that shit before he went on tv right? Or else he really truly is a vampire with no reflection.

“I’m very busy with my office and traveling and doing my work.”

I think I need you to be my life coach.

Sleeping in a thong is bad enough but a bra?!?! You couldn’t pay me to do that! My favorite part about winter is that I rarely have to wear a bra due to all the bulky layers. Bras are a construct of the devil.

You should wash off eyeliner and mascara! My eye doctor told me it was the reason I kept getting eye infections. I use Neutrogena makeup wipes. It takes a few scrubs, but it seems to get it all off.

I cant wait to laugh at every single one of these fools. All proceeds should be given to the local workers who got stiffed at the end of it all. They’re the only ones who deserve any sympathy.

I started watching the Bodyguard only because I was out of things to binge. I was immediately hooked, Madden was superb.

I agree, it’s a confusing standard even as a grown woman! Be sexy, but be a virgin. But then if you’re sexy and a virgin, you’re a tease. If you’re not sexy and a virgin, you’re a prude. If you’re sexy and not a virgin, you’re a slut. If you’re not sexy and not a virgin, you’re still a slut. We can never win this game.

There’s nothing wrong with you. Trust your gut, it’s rarely ever wrong. I wish I had listened to mine sooner, but I ended up learning some valuable lessons. Everything will be okay in the end! :)

If I ever saw President Obama I’d throw myself around his leg crying and screaming PLEASE DON’T GO DON’T EVER LEAVE ME like a 3 year old when mom goes to work.

I literally had the same relationship. He cheated in the beginning, but it was because we weren’t “serious.” He cheated again later on because I wasn’t showing him enough attention apparently. Followed by the gaslighting that my paranoia was unreasonable and I was “crazy” for being suspicious. I stayed bc I was lonely,…

That is far worse than removing a single bloody tampon. Respect!

I worked in a bar where a drunk woman left a (heavily) used tampon in the sink. I had to remove it using rubber gloves while questioning every life choice that led me to that moment.

My sister and I each had one, but maybe around 1989ish? I remember mine was named Midge, which I promptly changed to Meg. They’re both still at my parents’ house, and my nephew and niece like playing with them, so they seem to have been a solid investment.

“...'to secure Lohan’s name as the definition of vacation luxury.’” Lol, no.

I never noticed til just now that Zinke looks like Bumble from Rudolph, but not nearly as cute.

Kinda wouldn’t let me edit, so ETA: