The last time I wore a vest, it was the 1980s and, regrettably, my vest looked like this:

I heard a new Weezer song the other day, and it’s about girls. Rivers, you’re 40. Stop.

YESSS, MISS VICTORY! As a theatre-loving kid, I appreciated that detail :) Although I imagine that Allison got to dance it in the recital? I loved the conclusion when Dr./Mr. McIntire came home. Years later, I was amused at how relatively “old” and “grown-up” I thought Jill was (she’s 13-14 in the series, yes?)

Holy shit though, Nellie’s friend getting her scalp and hair ripped off by a cotton machine? My scalp still stings.

I did a one woman show with my doll detailing Marta’s death on the ship to America. “Let her have hear tears.”

don’t forget their puberty book!! the best damn puberty book around.

Molly’s dad was fighting in WWII.

It’s still a pretty great series. When we took my redneck dad to the Chicago store once, u expected him to lose his shit over the price tags, but instead he thought it was super cool for an age appropriate store for little girls that really embraced a lot of different kinds of girlhood. He passed when my daughter was…

Motherfuckin Miss Victory!!!!

Samantha also saved someone from drowning! And one of Kirsten’s friends had cholera or something.

Same. I don’t have kids so I don’t know what’s going on nowadays, but I thought American Girls were really cool when I was a kid. I read all of the books (for the first four dolls, after that I outgrew it I suppose) and had a magazine subscription and all sorts of extra shit like paper dolls and recipe books.

I’m glad they’re putting out a black doll with a lighter backstory, really. Addy was compelling, but her story was incredibly dark, comparatively. Molly had to deal with her brother ruining her Halloween costume. I seem to remember Samantha having some kind of a problem with ice cream. Addy fled slavery and got hunted…

The magazine is still great. My daughter gets so excited the day it arrives in the mail.

That is an interesting question but he didn’t try to even answer it.

Yes, I love shiny clothes and a beaten face, but give me a queen who clearly has put some thought and humor into their drag, and into a fully-articulated drag philosophy. There is plenty of pretty in the world, give me something smart and provocative!

If y’all haven’t watched the Meet the Queens clips, do yourself a favor and go to the Logo website and do so. There are so many promising queens this season. I’m gunning for Bob The Drag Queen:

Wow. If voodoo economics can’t work in Louisiana...

A friend of mine taught at Eric’s stepchildren’s school years ago.

Oh my god my heart rate has been erratic on my fit bit recently too. But I’m pretty sure it’s an adderal combined with too much coffee baby. Follow me at @AdderalCaffeineFitBitBaby

THIS. You know how to clean out your colon? Fucking poop.