I was working at a popular electronics store when a customer came in to buy his wife a really fancy scale for mother’s day. I couldn’t talk him out of it. He just kept telling me “she’s been feeling really out of shape lately, and this will be great to help her get back on track”

Why not add an antique lace collar to your plain sweatshirt?

wearing a veil to work tomorrow!

OMG! I cannot believe how innocently delusional we were all back then. Jessica McClintock and Gunne Sax! Living in San Francisco, I could get the samples and irregulars at the warehouse for dirt cheap. There were actually sewing factories in San Francisco’s south of Market back then. I never paid full price for…

• “Hang your collection of straw hats in your hall instead of smart wallpaper.”

And wherever I go I take my toe shoes, carefully stuffed with potpourri

I promise, the perfume on the light bulb thing is a Thing. My mom used to do it with scented oils and that was in the early to mid-90s.

This article is what you (well, ha ha not you, but everyone else) calls “tongue in cheek”.

I find it delightful that she eats all that ridiculous shit, yet her name is Bacon.

can’t wait until someone tells her that she, too, will die like everyone else

I’m a large woman. I would much rather sit by another large woman than a small or average sized manspreader.

I feel ya. I’m 6 feet, large framed & fat. My friends mocked us mercilessly on our way back from Vegas last fall because my hubby and I were so happy to have a seat between us. We love each other, but 3 hours smushed against each other isn’t my idea of romance.

I was once in the window seat of a row of three. There was a gentleman in the aisle seat. As the boarding process ended, it became clear that the middle seat was to remain blissfully empty and I felt immediate relief, until the gentleman picked himself up, scooted over, and started to lower his ass into the vacant…

A website for ladies? Now I’ve heard of everything!

“What kind of things do you like me to do with you body?” Jeb said as I looked over the contract. “Do you like it when I keep it from healthcare?” Oh my. My inner goddess screams YES but I blush.

I hope he doesn’t drop out anytime soon. Now that Trump has somewhat reeled in the crazy and Carson is about to drop out any day, we don’t have a lot of people who will bring the funny anymore.

I was a little blonde kid and all I ever wanted was the Barbies who were brunette or another ethnicity. I did have one blonde one with hot pink and orange streaks in her hair that I loved, though.

Q: Why did Adele cross the road?

my first guess is that it’s basically a chair with a hole cut in the seat to facilitate easy rimjobs?