Goddamn it.

MORE LIKE CLINTON POORTIS

Can’t stop him now!

May he.

Well, can he?

I am interested in the world of club promoters, how they get paid, what quotas look like, etc. Please share more.

It’s all been leading to this?!? You guys have been playing the long game and here’s the payoff. This is beautiful.

“All our knowledge begins with the senses, proceeds then to the understanding, and ends with reason. There is nothing higher than reason, except for this air ball.”

Andre Drummond is what DeAndre Jordan would be if DeAndre Jordan wasn’t a useless fucking shithead.

That dude in Aldo’s corner with the backwards hat...you’d think he’d just seen his family shot in front of him...damn, man.

Gregg Popovich is the best current coach in the NBA.

You’ve really gotta feel for the kid who missed the free throw, Yemen Yemen.

I’ve always thought that Dirk Nowitzki was born in the wrong era. Can you imagine being part of a Roman legion on the German frontier of the Empire circa 100 CE and having to take on a 7ft 245lb barbarian Dirk Nowitzki in close personal combat?

but it’s hard to feel too bad for a guy who’s never shown any interest in giving his own fans (or anyone else’s) even a half-decent team to watch.

Somewhere, a ‘STICK TO SPORTS!!1!!1!’ Deadspin commenter sits in front of a computer screen, sweating, unable to move, broken.

Holy shit! KG just stole Blake Griffin’s New 2016 Kia Soul!

That drinking yourself to death question answered like a True Soviet.

“Doth I read an article making mild jest of a known and rather amusing quirk of a head coach? Well then I must retort with a deflection toward a completely unrelated subject regarding a completely unrelated team. O, how pithy mine wit be!”

Bill only wakes up inside the finest New Jersey housewives.