*Va-Ginas

Murray and Clay are still the same guys there were in college, only instead of sharing Carries they're sharing Ginas.

Ah, this isn't just silly, it's Sagan Silly, the ultimate in impractical gushing about our future.

So many potential Starbucks locations...

"But it went way too far, and it wasn't very clear that it was a joke, that it was fabricated. If you read it, you might think that it was actually Tiger talking. The whole thing is completely ridiculous."

You're awful. The puppet holds up way better than the CG does.

Well, if you want to get super-pedantic, he went on an insane rampage, was apprehended, and then masturbated, so the rampage itself was not masturbatory at all according to the reports.

This begs the question: why doesn't Tom Coughlin let opponents know about Eli's condition?

"The Buccaneers name is offensive to anyone hurt by the rising price of corn on the cob."

Except of course in the cases where the Bears are fully behind the homosexual community.

"That's my two cents," said Schroeder, "and if you don't mind, I would really appreciate it if you returned them."

The homosexual community is fully behind the Bears.

Unlike the 'Skins, CTE doesn't discriminate.

You get no stars. Go read a fucking history book. The eugenics movement was, at a time, wildly popular in the United States and it led to thousands of average of American children to be institutionalized, abused, and neglected.

As a Jew, no, I will not. It's an ugly word but I will not pretend that it doesn't exist.

this comment is better than you're getting credit for

Finally he shoots something else off!

Stealing soda refills and crab legs? Shouting sexual vulagarites in a crowded student union? Stealing motor scooters? Firing bbs at people and windows? Armed robbery? Rape??!? C'mon guys, this witch hunt is getting a little tired. What's the next meaningless transgression your're gonna blow out of proportion? Dusting…

Scoreboard operator was just preparing for his eventual loss on the road in the playoffs/in the Superbowl where its noisy all the time.

Damn, man, this whole "don't eat shit in New York" thing is gonna be hell on Guy's American Kitchen & Bar.