I remember when the Orioles tried to intentionally walk Miguel Cabrera, then of the Miami Marlins and much skinnier. One ball came too close to the plate and Cabrera knocked it into the outfield, driving in a run and winning the game.

FLAWLESS VICTORY

A decent concept, ruined by a flawed execution and turned historically awful by a noble but ill-minded commitment to the material that dragged on way too long. -1,000

2) Dan Snyder sued me.

If MLB ever wants to really address the how and why about how they lost America's youth, they need look no further than 1994, and the steroid era they tacitly endorsed to make up for it.

Yea! Look at them loser bandwagon fans! They only want to go to a game when the team is entertaining. Real fans will gladly hand over cash to a billion dollar business no matter how bad the team is. Mike Myers hasn't made a good movie since the first Austin Powers. But that didn't stop me from seeing The Love Guru…

Evan Mathis' real bar tab:

Hi, Dan.

Qatar?

Jesus Christ. A discussion about Donald Sterling becomes a diatribe about "JEB BUSH = teh suck cuz Iran Contra." Of all the fucking things I expected to read today, I can safely say this wasn't one of them.

I GAWH DA BAWL BRAWH!

Can we get over black people using the n-word? I don't have an issue with groups taking ownership of slurs directed at them, be it "queer" or "redneck". It's simply not equivalent to a racist using the term as a pejorative. And hey, mainstream society created those slurs - they don't get to complain when the targets…

If he's truly offended by all racism, which seems to be your argument, isn't hypocritical of him to give Sterling a pass and call out Jay-Z for using the n-word in his songs? And that's assuming the fact that a black person using the n-word in a song is racist, which is a ludicrous fucking premise to begin with.

Tim, this whole thing is despicable. You are totally sullying this guys good name - a complete and utter character assassination. How can you call yourself a journalist? I mean I am fine with everything else, but did you have to point out that this guy still uses an AOL account?

so how much did David Stern fine the Lakers for not showing up to Games 3-5 of the 2004 NBA Finals?

To head off the 'How can you take somebody's property' arguments, Sterling doesn't own the team like he owns a car or house.

New York Post caption: "FIRE IN THE POLE: JERZY'S JERSEY GOES 'KRA-KOW!'"

Not a good one, fuck face.

Internet Drinking Game:

Somewhere, Paula Deen let out a huge fart of relief.