What in the holy hell is going on here? Why are people saying shit to me about TV rating systems like I'm the guy that made the point and not happyhoosier? My point was that it's crazy that the shittiest NFL game of the week is still worth more than even the most popular shows on TV and then here comes every nutjob…

I am a teacher, and we do not watch live television. The last live TV in my classroom was on September 11th, 2001. There are no parties, "free days", food, gum, candy, or soda. Phones and earphones are out. We don't sit in a circle, talk about our feelings, hold hands, or sing Kumbaya. That is not why they pay me.

that's depressing. thank you!

Tom, I'm afraid you've been hoodwinked: this is viral marketing for Bud Light Lime Straw-Ber-Rita.

"should have been wary when he compared his work to GG Allin's."

+315 lbs.

I remember a few years back a fake football player also made the rounds on a bunch of shows, and then the Raiders drafted him first overall.

there was no way to prevent what happened to Kevin Westgarth

You're right. All the people on the ice were 100% powerless to stop what was predestined.

The best part of the game was when the Penguins lost.

"Minus-five, with chances of a weak Flurry"

Oh cum on, you're foreskin that one.

Some said that the new Kinja wouldn't change the quality of the puns around here, but I think it's made a vas deferens.

"Wrong way, stupid! I'm backwards!"

Somewhere, Tiger Woods is kicking his own ass for not being an Olympic athlete.

The pasta looks good.

Centuries ago a Spunkfuckshitpiss emigrated to Great Britain but a descendent changed the name to Windsor.

There's no uglier NFL sweater than Andy Reid, halfway through his fourteenth rack of ribs.

you mean that's not Robert downey junior?

That's not HIS baggage, that's YOUR baggage.

I call bullshit. The only locker room baggage that Herm Edwards can expertly comment about is how to best pack it into a single cardboard box and remove it after being fired.