Alex. You lose one hour *once* Just once. And everyone born after spring 2019 will NEVER lose it again. And fuck, it won’t be dark when you go home after 5 pm there come the deepest middle of winter. Isn’t that worth one last hour of your life? To not have that flip-flop is worth it, in spades.

Where do you think those pearls came from?  THE SEA!

Yeah, and if it is piss I wipe off with toilet paper and sit down. If it’s shit, I move stalls. My ass isn’t gonna to catch nothing.

Stop using them. Just sit on the goddamn toilet.

Here’s the thing: Unless you are completely agnostic to the operating system stop comparing Apple to Android devices. If you prefer Android...that’s fine. Stick with Android and compare those phones to each other to select the right one for you.

Wow. You’re a real prick. Congratulations.

I mean, it was just three hours. If they had peed before arriving on set, most of them were probably fine holding it. Doesn’t make it right to lock them in a subway car and deny them union mandated breaks, but I definitely go 3+ hours without peeing every day.

Buddy, if you think there’s a conspiracy to get a *Minnesota* team a championship, I don’t know what to tell ya

So after years of me never having the chance to review an AC game, having been in college and freelancing and now finally worked my ass to this moment in time, I finally get a chance say that I think that people bitched too much about Assassin’s Creed III?

Ben: How do they die? I mean, they can’t all get eaten by lions, right?

Why didn’t you call me Stephen?

The good thing about Packers fans is that you only have to listen to their gloating for an average of 45 years before the cheese finally does them in and their hearts explode.  

You started an affair with a 17-year old when you were 24? 

But...what can I say, we really like fucking each other?

I told my wife that I was thinking about inviting my ex, that I tried to stay friends with, to our wedding, because “she’s engaged now, what’s the big deal”

Scrolled immediately down for Oregon.

Netflix, you don’t have a ton of cash.

Their “Super Bowl run” that year came against an injured Kurt Warner, who was injured BECAUSE of their dirty bounty-seeking players, childhood Saints fan Brett Favre, and childhood Saints fan Peyton Manning. In any other walk of life besides the cesspool of idiocy that is pro sports, this would be such a blatant case…

You wrote this on another thread and I thought you were taking the piss, but now you’re making me think you’re serious. How is a clothespin strong enough to deform the copper wiring through the rubber insulator? And even if it were, the cross-section can’t actually change - this isn’t like pinching an air hose, the…

Washcloths became useless the day a loofah or poof was invented.