I just called my wife, dinner tonight just turned into a selection of pork jerky from this great local place, good cheese and wine - You Madam, are brilliant.

Are you sure you didn't mean "Three Penis Wine"?

I've done this. It is fantastic. Also, port wine cheese and pulled pork on a baked potato.

This reminds me, in the inverse, of a dining experience I had in a nice restaurant after my brother's college graduation. We're ordering appetizers and I believe I see something called the "salmon plate." (This is a lunchtime meal.) I loves me some salmon, maybe it's smoked? Is it lox? Whatevs. "I'll have the salmon…

Reminds me of the time I stopped at a self-declared wine bar one evening with my then girlfriend and decided I wanted a port. Mind you this was a reasonably well regarded establishment in the Old Town section of Alexandria, Virginia, so not really backwoods or anything rural. I asked whether they had any vintage…

That's too bad, because about 90 minutes from Austin is a winery called Messina Hof. (To the best of my knowledge, they are NOT Aggies. Just sayin.')

walking around in a lovely sunny evening in madrid, we were keen to sit at a terrace outside, rather than indoors. i catch glimpse of some empty chairs in a terrace, and as i saunter towards them, manage to cross the wait staff. I ask her she has wine, and she replies with a : "which one, white or black?"

Aw, I always try to be nice to people who have misfiring moments like that, cause I had one myself. I started working in newspapers after college as an English major and there were a bunch of industry writing terms I'd never heard before, including something called a "nut graph" which is basically the second or third…

It's just a regional thing I believe. I lived about half my life in the upper midwest and the other half in Austin. We ate port wine cheese all the time up north but many people from Austin and my family who grew up here have never even heard of it.

The best part about this story is you know that bartender tells everybody about the crazy couple that came in and ordered pork wine, no matter how many times he asked if they were sure. It's a BCO 2-for-1.

I may have to eat port wine cheese with pulled pork now. That sounds so wrong, it loops around to being right.

Pork Wine. The OTHER white wine.

So... when's that hanging?

HE LOOKS LIKE A RAT, GET IT?

Maybe in Belgium!