There is someone who knows all of the sex secrets of Kelly Preston and John Travolta. But David Miscaviage isn't talking (yet...as long as John is a good little follower).

At least he said please! This same douchenozzle told me to kill myself 2 weeks ago but there was no polite precursor.

You were the recipient of some Ginger Junior karma. Great story. Also, Polo and Drakkar Noir are the scents of my adolescence.

Think of the Fanilows. Won't somebody PLEASE THINK OF THE FANILOWS???!!!

Gosh, thanks. I'm going to go kill myself right now. Asshole.

I'm amazed Calipari didn't get a technical in this game, he was so far on the court. The refs did not seem to be up to the officiating necessary for such a big game, but the bad calls mostly balance each other. The argument could be made that the shot clock violation was in exchange for the missed foul on the other…

I co-slept. Spread/fractured pelvis. But tailbone break sounds SO painful! Ouch...I did not know that one was even possible.

I have all the feels. This is totally my system.

Great story. Ohio’s always in the midst of that, though. My mom lives there and I have NEVER driven from one city to the next without serious construction. It gives the Big Dig a run for it’s money.

When you wear a T-shirt and no undies in my family, it’s called “pulling a Pooh”. Least sexy look ever.

Tidal?

Friday's had the most side work of any job I had, but the grossest side work was in Boston, I worked at a bar and grill that only sold bottled beer. So all day and night, not entirely empty bottles of beer piled up in cardboard boxes in the basement. At the end of the night shift (3 am) we would have to dump out the…

To quote my 93 year old Grandma: "Oh dear God no."

I personally will miss the references to the Black Fruit Growing Tree in Large Horticultural Space Restaurant. You're a spoilsport, Pinkham.

I ruined my nother's second wedding with my epic meltdown. Even in the pictures you can see me red, puffy eyes and her pissed off look. My stepfather got me good, though. He was a child molester.

Food criers unite! I have done this on more than one occasion to my husband, too. The worst was when I was pregnant and I asked him to get me a bacon double cheeseburger from Burger King, and he tried, but whoever was on the register didn't know that it was a menu item. He brought home a regular cheesburger. I wailed…

This looks like the work of a maniacal 3 year old.

seriously, Derick better watch his back. I had a roommate whose boyfriend used to beat the shit out of my cat (when I wasn't around). One day he was taking a piss in the bathroom where we kept the litter box. My cat scratched the eff out of his dick.

Amateur hour. Everyone knows that the first rule of using fake ID is learning the birthdate! I used to have the worst fake ID ever, girl didn't even really look like me, but I knew that IDs birthday, address, etc.

I was too! But...does the hoodie zip OVER the face? It's like some cheap ass bondage shark?