burntiggerburn
Burntiggerburn
burntiggerburn

This was about 13 years ago, right at the time the tech bubble was bursting. We lasted 18 months...the lay-offs started my husbands's first week of work and he still got through 5 rounds. Anyway, no trip back since then. We moved to Southern CA, where the port (but not the pork) flows freely.

That is hysterical. Your thinking was very logical! And...I have those moments too. I am a web designer and I pronounced the word meme wrong for about 2 years before someone finally corrected me. EM-BAR-ASSED!

Before I start, let me say I was a server for a decade, and I have nothing but the utmost respect for all service employees. But this story has become legendary in my family, so: Mr. Tigger and I moved for his job from the East Bay Area in CA to Austin, Texas. On our first date night after moving, we went out to

This show has shark-jumped so many times, I was almost over it. But all was forgiven at the end when Annalise and Frank both casually accuse each other of murder, but neither is offended that the other one thinks they did. Sort of: "well, if it wasn't me or you then: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯?

I wish I was taller.

omg I have been laid up with the worst flu for 3 days and that was a much needed laughing off of my ass.

I live in a warm climate and am mammarily "gifted". Sweaty underboob is the bane of my existence. Anyone have any great tips? All I got is baby powder, and that creates a gross paste.

I had an ex try to sneak attack me in the ass the morning of my abortion. He said he " thought it would take my mind off of it." Still not sure if he meant the abortion or the anal.

I didn't even know vocal fry was a thing until last month and now I HEAR IT EVERYWHERE. I would be grateful for some old fashioned up talk.

Me neither. I've been smoking for 20 yrs as well. I tried learning several times, gave up and bought a non-Chong joint roller. Works great and saved me from wasting any more weed with my awful rolling. I never learned how to pull off a French braid either...I think they might be related.

Hopefully Marvin can similarly ruin Jeb's run for president. Marvin all over the election!

Your sister rocks.

Best Supporting Actress is notoriously the kiss of death in Hollywood. Marisa Tomei, Mira Sorvino, Kim Basinger, Marcia Gay Harden...all victims of the curse. After Renee Zellwegger won in 2003 her career tanked. She's not been blackballed, she's been Oscar Cursed.

I had a hard time convincing parents of only boys how gross girls can be. Until I got a text from a mom giving my kid a ride saying my precious pink wearing ballet dancing 8 yr old was telling a joke about explosive diarrhea. She's very popular with the boys, my little angel.

Beck gave Kanye the Thousand Mile Stare and he sat his ass right down.

I honestly think the corpse displaying business plan is way more rational than actually wanting to be married to Charles Manson.

I'm surprised Kanye didn't go tell Paul to sit down, because Beyonce's seat dancing artistry was being disrespected.

Why was Sally applying for Medi-cal? Why is the surrogate's name on the birth certificate at all? Isn't this a legally binding contract...how can you just drop out of a surrogacy? And , most importantly, does Sheri Shepherd have the heart of Beezlebub? Although it seems to me that poor kid doesn't stand a chance

That my body would actually fit into my old jeans in six weeks,

This guy.