Yes, do tell! This is the first place I went after seeing the TMZ post, assumed you would have something?

I'm actually kind of looking forward to watching the Republicans try to repeal the health care plan for the next 2 years.

What the actual fuck? How is he not a permanent absentee voter? The only thing that makes me feel okay with this is knowing Lil Jon flew to Georgia to vote when his ballot didn't show up. John Stewart is less legit today than Lil Jon.

They are. My chef cousin has been working at corporate for years helping design a menu.

As long as Lea Michele is dispatched in a brutal fashion, I'm down.

Only a Wildcat fan would make that tasteless of a joke. Too soon. Go Cards! (I am joking.)

That first line cracks me up because my eight year old who hates chocolate and ice cream loves the fuck out of candy corn and I'm pretty sure she's hellbent on Total World Domination.

I've been told more than once that wooden cutting boards are festooned with disease and not sanitary at all, even after washing. True or false?

Hopefully just a bad hangover or cafeteria food. Far more common reasons for classroom puking then Ebola.

I have a question I hope someone can answer...would the hospital have kept her in the staff rotation, treating patients for that 21 days? Becaus if so, then I totally see why she would think it was okay to take a trip if she was asymptomatic. The hospital would have kept her working with sick and vulnerable people…

How can a person associated with Scientology and the Kennedys be so damn boring?

Thanks for he Monday pick me up! I always look forward to this...plus it finally convinced my husband that servers do indeed intentionally crop dust customers for revenge. I worked in service for 10 years and never saw anyone spit in food; but a million anal salutes.

Don't tell my daughter! Or the 1500+ babies born in the US with that name last year. It's not that uncommon or unusual of a name. You fail.

I know! Jeez, I went to a taping of the Tonight Show once and I had to play hooky from work to go. When I got there I was so flipping paranoid someone from work would see me I ducked every time a camera swung in my direction.

I don't know what your problem is with those baby names. It's hard naming 25 kids! And, Ikea was already taken.

Oh shit. I thought I has a good story. I was wrong. You win.

I think I might have a dog in this hunt.

Yeah, I'm sure the Boy Scouts would love that sparkly makeup camp. Because their record on inclusivity is stellar.

My kids got lice a few years back. I did too. It has replaced teeth falling out as my go to anxiety dream. 'Nuff said.

I knew I couldn't be the only one laughing hysterically at the faux hair cutting (could those extensions have looked less real?). That was some damn fine scenery chewing.