if your lips are perpetually chapped and it's a complete mystery, check your meds and check your blood. I couldn't believe how chapped my lips became from an rx. I'm "ethnic ambiguous" (lotsa stuff) and I was teased a little. Later as a twenty something, a guy that later became my friend confessed his buddy…

I just....why? Why do people do this?! The only things I damaged during my college drinking days were my liver and a little bit of my pride.

I am a tattoo artist and I use something natural and amazing while I'm tattooing, to keep the skin from getting scabby while I work. It's called hustle butter and I've found that it is an awesome lip and super dry skin moisturizer. Maybe worth a shot!

That's the best/worst part of finding gross things... Is eyefucking everyone in the vicinity to see if you can suss out who is the pooper.

I second the lanolin notion. I love Bite Beaty's lanolin-based Agave Lip Mask, which is thick and slippy and yummy, free of drying peppermint or petrochemicals, made of all food grade ingredients, and produced in Canada (not in a sweatshop somewhere). It smells like vanilla, which is great since straight up lanolin…

Straight up coconut oil. Plus it's delicious and good for you.

Dude, I put on lip balm right after moisturizer when I'm doing my face, because I CANNOT DEAL with having bare lips for the 5-10 minutes it takes to do the rest of my makeup (lipstick comes last, because who fucking knows where your eyeshadow journey is going to take you, and also of course I'll smear it).

I brought my sisters, and they were flat out honest, which is what I needed. When I fell in love with an ultra expensive beautiful gown with a matching lace shrug, they told me that if I bought that dress I would have to extend the length of my wedding reception by at least three hours to make it worth spending that…

Seconded on the diaper balm. I use this one for my chapped lips, and the unavoidable chapping of my toddler's cheeks and chin when you combine drooly baby with Canadian winter. It never disappoints, and it's basically olive oil based without a ton of ingredients - I could make it in my own kitchen if I wasn't a lazy…

They were smaller back then...no vitamins or something.

"But all the High End places serve champagne!"

i fit into all of my mom's wedding stuff at 11. dress, shoes. everything.

that was my life, 6 days a week, for 5 years...

I mean, I agree. Obviously that is always in bad form- but I think so is saying, "It's gorgeous!" to every dress. You're not being useful.

I wore my mom's dress. As she handed over the box to me, she said, "I'm sure you will have to take it in A LOT. I was very chunky in 1968." Cut to me trying on the dress a few weeks later at the alteration place. Dress fit me like a glove. That was like delayed shade.

Are you sure your mom means well? Because it sounds like she's actually kind of awful to you, and supremely focused on your weight in a really unhealthy way.

Nevermind. I was basing it on the pictures I saw and I didn't see this one.

The best way to navigate one of these places is to have a current or former dancer on your outing. I had an impromptu bachelor party at a strip club and two of the attendees were women. One was a former stripper and current bartender at a strip club.

There's not an app that replaces normal cats with tiger cubs?

Ok, but I think Hillary should seriously get lipstick this color. I actually love it. Not so much the eyeshadow, but the lips. Yes. (Also I'm just intensely jealous of anyone who can pull off this color. I have the tiniest mouth in all the land, and I cannot wear colors.