I made slow cooker mac&cheese for a party* and had to work while it was cooking. So I threw it all together, went to work, came home, unplugged my slow cooker and got in the car. Who fucks up mac&cheese?

I used nitrous for my wisdom teeth removal. Music started to sound strange, but I did not see things that weren't there. I was conscious and able to talk to the oral surgeon, but barely remembered what happened after it happened. It sounds reasonable to me for childbirth.

This is almost as embarrassing as when you serve your friends a huge, expensive, 4-hour, multi-course dinner then invite your all dinner guests to visit your Swarovski crystal vomitorium for a pre-dessert purge and everyone looks at you like they have no idea what you're talking about.

BOY WAS MY FACE RED.

The kind in dentists' offices never made me trip balls, though. It just made me a lot less panicky and able to cope with what was going on. I admit I was pretty wobbly when I'd leave, though that was probably a combo of nitrous + anxiety + not eating before I went because anxiety makes me nauseated, and it wore off…

You buried the lede Jia! So I put slices of raw eggplant with jarred tomato sauce and mozzarella!

Artisanal vomit, though.

Well what kind of jerkwad would serve un-breaded eggplant parm in the first place? Fuck you, goop.

it's a pretty low dose mixed with air. You start inhaling when the contraction begins, get a bit spaced out while the contraction heats up and then it wears off after a few minutes. It makes you lightheaded but you don't trip out or anything. It doesn't take the pain away as such but it definitely makes it more…

Yes, I grew up in a military family so we moved regularly, and I remember feeling like I was the only person who didn't know the unwritten rules. It was horrible until, like you, I realized that those people don't even get to make the rules. It was miserable at the time but I think living through that actually helped…

Nun of the above.

you had one job...

It might not be literal rules for who you're supposed to be. In my chapter, sly catty shit ran wild underneath the film of togetherness and positivity. Clear groups of friends had no room for anyone who didn't fit in.

I think I am a bad person for continually confusing her with Teresa Guidice. I keep saying to myself, "keep it straight—one of them is SKINNY, and the other one is in the JOINT."

OK, I can understand the "don't get blasted" parts, but can someone explain the Uber thing? The spray paint thing is awful. If any of the leadership was worth anything, they would have disciplined the girls who did that.

I'm confused. You get punished for not attending parties, but being barred from parties is a punishment?

because its not vandalism, it's all in good fun.

WHAT THE ACTUAL F*CK?!

"...one of my pledgesisters still refuses to speak to me and spits the ground when my name is mentioned."

"Whereas basic boring water has zero calories, Skinny Water by Bethanny Frankel actually has Negative Calories, which upon being ingested begin working to remove the calories you have already consumed."

NOTE: THE FDA HAS NOT EVALUATED THESE CLAIMS