My husband and I take care of my mom, who has early onset Alzheimer’s. I’m going to be honest with you, it’s the worst fucking thing I’ve ever done in my life but I try to take comfort in knowing that once she’s gone, I will feel no guilt because I’ll know that I did everything I couldn’t for her. If you ever need to…

My mom has early onset Alzheimer’s. My husband and I have a pact to kill ourselves if it happens to us. 

I’ve never heard of this before! You just made my night!

Stupid autocorrect. George Sanders was the best part of Rebecca.

That was Eva, the one who was actually funny. Zsa-Zsa was just pretty and married well. Fun fact: Zsa-Zsa was married to a different sister’s ex-husband. He was the supremely talented actor George Saunders, who wrote the greatest suicide note of all time.

We’ve been shopping around for day care and it’s shocking. My husband is pushing for a nanny share, which is really popular in the yuppie neighborhood we live in. I just don’t feel comfortable relying on another couple or two to pay their share and figure out schedules and whatnot.

That child looks like his soul and husband childhood have been stolen.

It’s sad when Melissa and Joe Gorga’s house looks more comfortable than this.

Have you forgotten the weird staged photos from Thanksgiving where they tried to convince us that Yolanda and Gigi made pies there? I think they’re trying to position Gigi as some sort of food guru when her modeling career inevitably ends.

They’re not the brightest bulbs in the chandelier. The newest rumor is that Rob and Chyna broke up and are keeping it quiet until the end of their show. Who knows why a Kardashian behaves like they do?

Eh, my best friend tried to throw me a surprise baby shower and involved my husband for invitee purposes. He told her that I really hate surprises and would be pissed so then it no longer was a surprise shower.

I don’t like any of the Kardashians but my thought was that maybe it was supposed to be a surprise for Blac Chyna? I might be thinking the best of some truly awful people.

This is going to sound really mean but seriously, fuck Corey Haim’s mother. She was a terrible mother when he was alive and the only reason she doesn’t want Corey Feldman talking about her son, and the issues her son discussed, himself, when he was still alive, is because it exposes what an awful mother she was.

I remember that episode! She was bonkers. The sad thing is there was also a case just like it with a horse. The plaintiff boarded her horse with the defendant, couldn't afford the horse anymore, sold the horse to the defendant and then kept coming around criticizing how the horse was being cared for. When th defendant…

“Sometimes old ladies... Get cut...” I loved her and Milton. They (along with the grandparents) were the real love story of Cry Baby.

Or you could do what I did: I had a crazy bitch as my MoH, when we stopped speaking less than a year after my wedding, I had a friend who’s a graphic designer erase her from my wedding photos. Take the cash and pretend like she was never there

They are but I love the crazy shit people froth themselves into a rage over. I’ve actually never smelled Dreft but I’m sure it’s lovely.

I can’t seem to find a clip but it was glorious. A minister opened up a youth center in a strip mall, next to a hairdresser with an old timey Kate Gosselin haircut. She complained that they stole parking for her customers and they brought a “seedy” element to the strip mall so she told the police that she thought it…

I frequent baby boards now that I’m in my third trimester. Moms totally lap this organic shit up. You should see the detergent wars on some of these boards. One woman accused another woman of child abuse for not using Dreft.

Byrd’s face when litigants try to explain to him what to show JJ is my favorite. And his giant turquoise rings.