Learning that Lauren Bacall disliked Natalie Portman has made me appreciate the late Ms. Bacall a little bit more this morning.

I could see it going one of two ways: she was ecstatic because Anthony married an incredibly powerful woman, who could help get him into the White House or she was horrified because he married someone who couldn’t devote her life to him. Either way, I’m sure she blamed the women involved for Anthony’s multiple dick…

Only that Mrs. Weiner was obsessed with her boys. They can do no wrong. She used to constantly refer to Anthony as “the first Jewish president of the United States.” No one could ever measure up or be good enough for one of her sons.

She’s the epitome of the stereotype of a Jewish mother. Her boys could never do anything wrong. I would bet money that she thinks the reason her son isn't the first Jewish president is because of the women he sent unsolicited dick pics to.

This is going to sound incredibly mean but if you met his mother, it would all make sense.

They basically both got caught making out with other people multiple times (including the pirate on vacation!) They’re both terrible actors so when they were caught, they were all “Who? Me? Doing what?” The real reason they broke up (I think) is that LuAnn realized she needed a richer man to keep up with the lifestyle…

That’s what people were saying before last season started (including David Foster’s kids) but that scene at Rinna’s birthday party confirmed it for me. When she was freaking out about how tired she was and how she suddenly got warm, I started screaming at the TV, “Bitch, it’s called a hot flash!”

I'm really counting my chickens before they hatch (literally). I'm 7 months pregnant (on Tuesday). I'm sorry kids weren't in the cards but life as DINKS is awesome as well.

Seriously, she still has some awful unresolved grief over her late husband. The scene with the psychic and the episode in London last season proved that. Dorinda still knows how she was coming off in the beginning of the season and successfully diverted by making Sonja into the mess. It felt to me like she was picking…

Living the dream. I was suckered in by cute baby faces and fat rolls.

Yep, that was great. I think there is literally one episode this season where she's not trashed. Don't get me wrong; once my kids are grown and out of the house, my husband and I totally plan on getting trashed again. On TV though? Probably not.

I remember that well. Avery looked like she wanted to die all season. The “Maybe I’m pregnant” storyline is my least favorite reality show plot. Pee on a stick (or don't if you've clearly hit menopause) and get it over with. Women do it every day.

I guess it's all relative, especially with this kind of show. When I meet people with an apartment in the city and a place in Palm Beach, I assume they're part of the 1%. With these bitches, they can guess how much someone is worth by their shoes.

I think she was genuinely shocked when Sonja pulled through on her threat of being sober for the rest of the season. Probably because Dorinda definitely couldn't do it.

But it was for her own good! What a load of bull.

Doesn’t Tom have serious grocery store money? D’Agostinos isn't a cheap store...

I about died. It’s like when Yolanda Hadid wouldn’t admit she was going through menopause. I don’t know who you think you’re fooling buuuuuttttt....

Dorinda is a master Housewife. She recognized that she and John were becoming the Hot Messes of the Season so she deflected and started shit stirring to amp up the other dramas. Her exclusion of Sonja made me really dislike her though. It just seemed so Mean Girls.

Yeah but her posturing last night about how she didn't want an open marriage rang false to me. She was the one with the power in her relationship with Jacques and that was clearly an open relationship as well. More power to her and she's entitled to change her mind (or not) with her new relationship but it just seemed…

She basically agreed to leave quietly so she could still keep in touch with her mother and brother, who are still Scientologists. I think it was right as Leah Remini was leaving and basically, the Co$ didn’t want to fight a battle on two fronts so they let the bigger star to leave quietly.