“Area under the curve, baby!”

^you’ve gotta be an engineer.

“Out of respect for you, we’re going to do something you hate and asked us to stop repeatedly. You’re welcome!”

I searched “below average” and got a nice selfie.

Cool. You know some words. Blah blah, words, something, wasting our time, blah, words words, punctuation.

TBH, probably 75% of the world has cracked an iphone. I dropped mine a few weeks ago.

This seems like a hilariously bad idea and fraught with danger. How are you even allowed to do this legally?

I assume you meant Honda and Acura.

Goddamn master stroke. I was wondering who would pull this stunt first. You are a badass for this.

This is fucking fabulous. I have never loved Deadspin more.

This is seriously awesome. You’re carrying on the Gawker Media tradition of doing smart, challenging, in your face work. Keep it up.

I didn’t have fun, and because of that no one can.

My mind is boggled at the comments I’m reading down here. Everything from “he’s an asshole,” to “he doesn’t care about his kids safety.”

What. The. Fuck. Are you people serious?!

1. The kids seem to be having fun. Hell, I’d love to try this challenge. I dunno any kid that wouldn’t find this amusing.

2. The dad seems to…

Attn Trent Dilfer:

The only acceptable answer for a white man in this situation is as follows:

“Regardless of my own take on this situation, I am in no place to give my opinion, as I have not had to deal with racial prejudice at all during my lifetime. I am thankful to live in a country where a tasteful demonstration of…

Can we rename his Hail Mary’s to Hail Magarys please?

If you listen closely, you could hear Drew Magary smash furniture from miles away.

Hi, you must be new here. Welcome! You’ll learn your way around soon, but let me offer a piece of advice: nobody cares about (1) your fantasy football team, nor (2) the details of your reality football team’s roster construction. We just like goofy and/or awesome sporting spectacles.

Hoooooooooooooooooooooooole!

Unfortunately, kinja does not have the functionality to embed your fiance’s resume into a comment.

Its amazing how well a QB can play when the defense isn’t continually making contact to his head with the crown of their helmets.