Not only is this guy a complete and total shithead...this situation has me rooting for the <looks around....whispers> the Nationals.

LOL too late, fuckers. The baseball gods are displeased and I hope you’re unceremoniously dispatched by the Nats ASAP. 

Yes, I really like some roast donkey. One of the smoked meats I sell is donkey meat.

Always love plans that are literally based on the scheme of a pyramid.

This underplays what Orgo Night is. I saw this story elsewhere, and it led me into a rabbit hole. Here’s what I took away (and I’ll happily stand corrected if any Columbia alumni can offer better info):

I know you guys hate this shit as much as we do, but can you please tell your bosses to go fuck themselves for the ridiculous amount of ads all over the place?

Not the Antonio Brown come back story I expected.

This is why I ref 10 and under at my local Y. Ejections. Nothing, absolutely nothing, feels like ejecting the little punk when he looks at you wrong. Raise an eyebrow, you’re gone son. Dad screaming bloody murder from the sideline, take a walk kid. Someone has got to teach these kids a lesson. Sometimes life is cruel,…

Having never been touched like that by a woman before, it was all he could do to prematurely eject her.

Some idiot from Delaware County, very likely

“Look, like whatever team you like, but don’t disrespect the city! You gotta be better than that!”
- Some idiot on Philadelphia radio tomorrow, probably.

“That guy, the one who’s huge and totally ripped and considered a great athlete by NBA standards, that’s the dude I’m gonna pick a fight with!”

The fact that the Patriots getting Antonia Brown from Steelers ended up costing a third and a fifth round pick... from Raiders who got nothing in the end continues to both baffle me and be utterly hilarious.

Derek Carr: "I would be more upset if I weren't so heavily sedated."

Considering the whole time this was happening there was an actual documentary crew following everyone around and filming as much as possible, that makes the comparison even more fitting.

Luis is correct. The chances of being able to get fouled in an NBA game make it the easiest to accomplish.

Peyton’s too busy making shitty commercials that make me long for Cheryl’s She-Shed. TV was a mistake.

Meanwhile, my insanely insightful in-the-greys comments drive tens of thousandths of unique pageviews to your site every month, and I’ve yet to see dime one.

Because without facial hair you cannot tell where their neck ends and their chin begins?

“ It was a spooky ghost!"