given that the column is 500 words of “da Yanks is too nice, dis is Noo Yawk, we need an asshole like dis fuckin guy,” they should’ve shopped his face onto this classic

I wish it wasn’t a joke. This garbage human being should never play another game again, but money and an immoral society demand his presence on the field.

His other pre-exisiting condition is being an asshole.

If by “Maldonado framed it well” you mean pulled it up a foot then, sure, we’ll go with that.

He was never found not guilty. There was never a verdict. The victim didn't want to testify because of all the Kobe stans threatening to rape and murder her after her name was "accidentally" leaked by Kobe's attorney multiple times and the case was dropped.

I know, it totally sucked that Kobe Bryant, despite never being proven guilty, had to serve a lengthy prison sentence, had his lucrative basketball and sponsorship contracts revoked, and was prevented from living his dream of winning an Oscar.  I thought this was America.

Everything that Lena Dunham is associated with should go away.

I think you meant to say that readership fell precipitously when people figured out that Lena Dunham is pure garbage. (Why it took so long for this to discover this fact is a whole other issue.)

Farewell to the website who’s existence I just learned about in this post saying farewell. 

Ferry to Capri!

The Houston fans were actually just trying to keep the brown guy from getting over the wall.

And let’s not forget how bad the attendance numbers look once you account for the fact that Philip Rivers’ family is responsible for filling half of the seats.

Wait, so unlike so many obnoxious parents, the guy was NOT yelling at the refs, he was telling his kid to respect their decisions? And this is why she felt so threatened she needed to call 911? Oh fuck this.

The Brewers should just do MLB’s job then.  Throw at his head every time he’s at bat.

I hope they throw at his head.

Throw at his head.

I think Manny Machado’s success will pave the way for many more Gay Dominican Americans to perform better within the League.

Machado shouldn’t have even been in the game but stay classy, MLB. We know Manny won’t.

Question: Is it okay for guys to talk about women celebrities that give them boners? Would it be cool if a woman celebrity was asked on this show or anywhere else “People are talking about your Johansnatch, can you tell us what it’s shaped like?” Or is this a double standard and instance of hypocrisy that we’ve…