Reporter: Tom, has Donald ever touched you inappropriately?

Yes. One way or another Chicago will burn this fall.

I assure you - any heartbreak we face will be infinitely better than sitting in mom’s cellar during October. I hope you have a space heater.

The Cubs are just setting themselves up for even greater heartbreak in either the NLCS or WS. I can’t wait!

“I went one step better and left behind unused ones.” - Shawn Kemp

Hahahahahaha - I’m not sure what’s worse, how wrong you are, or how sure you are that you’re right.

I still think the fat timid American voter would’ve ran from the S-Word faster than a model from Trump’s tiny groping fingers. Hillary remains a safe commodity for the mushy middle and Bernie represents all the thing they were told is Evil by the Great God Reagan and his Priests for decades.

The real Skip Bayless is locked in a cell several hundred feet underground. There, his cruel captors siphon hot takes from his shattered mind 24 hours a day. Bayless huddles in the corner of his cell, naked but for a rough sackcloth and short length of hempen rope that he uses as a belt because it isn’t long enough to…

I can think of one locker room where this might happen:

Five words that explain everything that is wrong with the universe.

There’s some kind of “Ereckt” joke in here somewhere but I’m just not funny enough.

He better Echeck himself before he Ewrecks himself

With that Bedside Predator mustache on a man not yet 40, you have an issue with the hair?

So, grab them by the Donald Trump during the Vietnam War?

Grantland without Bill Barnwell, Zach Lowe, Jonathan Abrams, and Rembert Browne is like... well, like Deadspin without Drew Magary.

It feels like if Grantland and Buzzfeed got together to create some sort of screwed up sports site it would be exactly like The Ringer. I absolutely do not mean that as any type of compliment.

It’s a great site if you’re a 40 year old marketing consultant who loves the most lit new viral memes, epic native advertising and perfunctory woke content

Every article I read from there seems about 60% finished/thought out, and about 80% of the articles I see on the site don’t even seem newsworthy.

Ringer, I served with Grantland. I knew Grantland. Grantland was a friend of mine. Ringer, you’re no Grantland.

you gotta get to the playoffs 13 times to lose 13 times. Just pointing that out.