Love it! I did something very similar actually. Mine

*looks at the news that Kav hasn’t lost or withdrawn his nomination* I have perspective. Obviously, being accused of sexual assault and even rape, has done nothing, to his career.

Another response would be, “How about you pick up the ironic mansplaining you’re currently throwing down and put it in the shitter?”

I’m convinced he’s angling for Attorney General once Trump shitcans Sessions.

“dude Zukka she has a boyfriend, didn’t you know that?”

It is scary to think that you can be assaulted at any moment when you’re going about your business, so it makes women feel safer to believe that the world is just and fair, and that women who are assaulted did something wrong (had too much to drink, dressed too slutty, went running early in the morning without wearing…

98% of black women voted for Hillary. Please leave us out of this narrative. 

I’m not surprised Batman is right-leaning.

OMFG. Ten bucks says he’s now going to use that effing Presidential Alert thing to send us all dick picks to show us how big and presidential it is. 

“Someone has to rob and beat the traveler so that he can meet the good Samaritan, and I wouldn’t want to deprive anyone of that opportunity.”

“Look, someone has to do all this money-changing in the temple. I think Jesus would approve.”

This guy! This guy has a future in stand-up!

I hope Mueller strokes the coat the whole time, periodically commenting on how sumptuous it is and also taking snack breaks consisting of waffles with an excess of syrup on them.

Not only did Manafart have to give Mueller full cooperation in exchange for a plea deal, Mueller gets to depose him while wearing the ostrich leather jacket

Yes. That CNN article was from last night. This morning he pleaded guilty to everything (officially two conspiracy counts, but he had to allocute to 38 crimes that were roped into those two)

I’m no expert...but I think he’s doing it wrong by using “thing” as a hashtag.

When you finally figure out the first plant you’re gonna grow on Mars: