I recently learned how to squirt. It is a little bit different, in that it feels like a little more of a “release” than a g-spot orgasm. So, if your g-spot orgasm is a 9/10, I’d say it puts it up to maybe a 9.2 (in my experience). The mess is kind of inconvenient, and I find these orgasms to be kind of intense and…

I came here explicitly to make sure someone had taken care of this gif post.

Awww, you’re saying you don’t want to include the candidon’ts in this feature? Dan will be so sad!

I have only just now realized that I mixed up Ron Paul with Rand Paul, which shows you just how many fucks I give.

As for Dan Ozzi’s dates with Republicans, I think he’d probably bat a .500 for getting laid. Carly Fiorina would be a definite “No” though.

I awaited Rick Santorum’s arrival nervously. I was surprised that his PR team was allowing our date, especially since he’s married. “Don’t worry,” Tina, his assistant assured me, “Karen is the most generous woman I know. She’ll love it!”

As he stepped into the restaurant foyer, the room seemed to light up. I realize…

That is all so shitty. Well, except for 2, which sounds kinda great. I wish sexist assholes would drop my classes. Then, there would be fewer students, and a smaller concentration of assholes, which would be delightful!

Girl, you don’t know what you’re talking about. You haven’t lived until you’ve had a raw coconut cream colonic done by an aerial yogi.

I agree. I really like Schumer, and I think her feminist comedy bits are spot on. And I think she does get the racial humor right sometimes— such as her bit on interracial wedding photograph. In that case, she was punching down. But you’re right that just repeating racist phrases and hoping that the audience gets that…

I have mixed feelings about my Clarisonic. I kind of think of it similarly to a Sonicare toothbrush; when you first start using it, you feel squeaky clean, but missing a few days doesn’t really bug me (and I think you really do need to use it regularly to see a difference).

As other people have noted, the Clarisonic…

This comment is spot on. Plenty of other people have gotten accommodations for religious reasons (such as Muslim clerks not being required to handle pork products at Target) and he should get the same consideration, even though I personally find his opinion repugnant. I seriously doubt, however, that his request will…

It’s pretty rich for someone to bitch and whine about etiquette in one breath, and then to refer to their dining companions as “dogs” who “scarf” their food in the next. I don’t expect you’ll need to worry about your plate being taken away before everyone else’s for long. Table for one!

Dumb white girl here, but all the rest of the pictures (this one, the headwrap, the dredlocks) make her look really white to me. The coils I found convincing, but none of the rest of them are. Now I totally get where you were coming from when you said she did not look African American to you.

I agree. I really like a lot of Amy’s bits, but not those. I think it’s one step better than Family Guy (“I’m going to say something racist, but it’s OK because I am saying it ironically, which sounds exactly the same when someone says it unironically”) because it does punch down to some extent, but I agree that it is…

I think a better analogy would be whether you’d support a baker turning someone down for a request for a cake that says “Ban Gay Marriage” or “I Support Josh Duggar” or something like that. If so, then it has to extend the other way. Otherwise, who is the arbiter for what is appropriate to write on a cake? There are…

That is disappointing to hear (that male OBGs have been saying such awful things). FWIW, the one OBG who shamed me for being on BC was a woman (and was very rough during my exam!). I’m going to my first male OBG right now, and he’s delightful! He’s probably about 140 years old and has delivered just about every baby…

OK, what did help? What did you appreciate people saying to you?

I once had a friend say when her mother died, her neighbor arranged for a cleaning service to visit her house and get it squared away for her while she was away, and that was extremely appreciated. When my partner was gravely ill, that also was what was…

No, I get that. It’s impossible to anticipate all possible avenues for faculty to abuse students. Faculty are typically allowed to recuse themselves from an administrative duty if a relationship causes a conflict of interest. But I believe that blanket policies forbidding any faculty from having a relationship with…

Exactly. My partner became a student in the school where I was teaching... what were we to do, get a temporary divorce until he graduated? Silly!

I am grateful that I’m not single and trying to teach at this university. It would be so easy to meet with someone, have a great time, and then find out they are a student in…

Yeah, not cool on the part of that professor! I think the idea that professors always have power over students is a definite exaggeration. But certainly, if a professor has any influence at all over a students grades, educational opportunities, or research opportunities, they need to not date that person.

Agreed. Some schools have policies that are pretty draconian — I know of one where a professor cannot date a student in *any* department, and I don’t see the big issue if the professor does not have direct power over them in class. Frankly, in some small towns, good luck finding someone to date who isn’t a student!…