I say this with no humor or exaggeration intended.

It’s a good version but the whole Bible seems a bit much for the average person’s head.

I love it when Deadspin takes an unflattering still of people that are awful. Gets me every time.

The real question is how would pissing in Kombucha make it taste any worse?

You might not be but that thing drinking the tea is.

Is it wrong to admit that I read these previews just to find out if the coach is a dick?

Portland would be too hipster and contrarian to care about it. BRO THE TIMBERS ARE A REAL SPORT BRO

Dan had a bad ass looking visor. He looked like fucking Darth Vader with how tall he was.

You actually think most Seattle fans know that they were in a Super Bowl before 48?

Can we discuss how one saves his virginity for a second marriage?

Dammit, was about to make the same joke about Mike Carey...

I played a lot of 2K5 on XBox and thought it was pretty bad. If you stuck with running the ball you were nearly unstoppable. They did a tournament of the best players, similar to Madden’s, and the winner used Ricky Williams on the Dolphins and ran every single offensive play. I laughed so hard when, with Rudi Johnson,…

One of my proudest video game achievements, in NCAA 2000-something: taking Navy to an unbeaten national championship without throwing a single pass. #Flexbone4Life

Somebody inform Jon Bois. Instead of “Breaking Madden”, he can do “Watching Madden Break”

I thought I saw this ridiculous glitch on the game last year where the QB throws a bomb down the sideline on 3rd down, the receiver makes this incredibly insane catch as he is going out of bounds but keeps both feet in, and then the game paused for like 10 minutes and nothing happened and the next thing you know the…

I thought the college series was more fun than the NFL series.

I think it’s nice that this year’s Madden was coded by people who’ve never watched football and took their best guess at the rules.

I’m more of an EA Sports NCAA Football man myself.

I believe that's the neighborhood rule. Baseball gave it to football.