I don’t get how people don’t understand- just because you have had sex with someone in the past, or even are in an ongoing sexual relationship with someone- at any time, that individual may or may not want to have sex. You cannot force a person to have sex with you!

Actually first they came for the mimes but everyone was pretty okay with that.

Avoid those clowns too

or is it?

They should have called it Hurricane Thanks Obama.

I was heartened by how many of the responses encouraged him to go stand on the beach and test out his theory.

He likes fries that weren’t captured.

why do bar managers think people want to listen to live music? it’s like putting on a play in the middle of a restaurant.

that and the physical pain

Wtf did i just read?

So I have always wanted to ask, is pulling off those lower chin straps from the side of the helmet in frustration the most satisfying thing? Because it sure looks like it. When I see that I’m like aw yeah, that guy KNOWS he fucked up.

You don’t even need to boil them, just soak/rinse them off well. I’ve found this is actually the key for “oven fries” that are almost as crispy and tasty as deep-fried. Cut the potatoes, rinse them a few times and then continue to soak them in water while the oven preheats, then drain, dry on a towel, toss with salt…

McCain fries are cowardly losers.

He actually preferred Ore Ida fries to McCain. THE MONSTER!

A literal Hobo = 5
Trump = 10
Community College PoliSci Adjunct = 15
George Wallace = 20
Alf Landon = 25
John Quincy Adams = 30
...
Hillary = 55. Not ideal, but better than average considering our history

Obligatory.

Obviously you’ve never heard a former baseball player talk.

Hey Brooks, glad you could make it to Deadspin!

Guy hitting .205 in High-A ball is worried about the wrong Mendoza.

Okay, everyone, repeat after me...