Engagement lentil. All else is gaudy and wasteful.

Sigh. This attitude is so tiresome. I’m glad you like what you like, but you’re not better than everyone else just because you don’t like diamonds. A lot of people who don’t like diamonds have never seen a really great diamond before. There is a surprisingly fascinating amount of math and science that goes into…

overcomplicating not-new trends is the lifeblood of the NYT trends section

Many years ago at the group home for developmentally disabled teens where I worked there was a resident who really, really wanted to go to the best steak house in the city for his 18th birthday. He had behavior and anger issues, but was determined to earn that birthday dinner, and he managed it. So another staff…

This is the only comment that matters.

Love your name, it brings me back to 2002! Burninating the countryside! Burninating the peasants! Trogdor the Burninator. Classic.

I worked in Ocean City for a summer, a few years ago, and one of the highlights was trying Maryland blue crabs. I live in Canada but am originally from Oregon, and we have Dungeness crabs out there...I’m not a fan. I was surprised and delighted to discover East Coast crabs taste completely different...especially when…

I would enjoy that, too, but I must admit that I assume she does not give a rodent’s patootie about this lipless jerk wad.

Ansel Adultman. “I went to the club today. I did a music!”

I immediately reacted with STEAMED! I am also a Marylander. And now I realize I will have to speak to my mom if only to get her to send me crabs on my grandmother’s dime. Damn my stomach being stronger than my frustration with my mother!

Perfect usage.

My last family gathering involved me calling my cousin’s husband a transphobe, so, I feel you.

Yup, throwing a fun party that gets all your family and friends together is lame, lame, lame. Other non-essential things like travel are objectively and inherently superior to hosting an event that allows your loved ones to meet and have fun together.

#firstworldproblems because people in poor countries never host huge weddings with tons of food, right? Oh wait.

Don't humblebrag, it's unseemly.

What do you really expect from that ginger faced fart storm? This is the same dude who hand waved away any criticism of him being named “the future of R&B” by some magazine or the other. He’s the Weasley ghost with spattergroit. No one loves him. He is the Kanye to Nicki’s Beyoncé, except he’s fucking wrong and should…

witchcraft.