If any man had gotten up on that stage and said something as simple as, “sexual assault and harassment are wrong and need to stop,” there would have been a snarky headline from Jez 36 seconds later that read, Thanks for the Very Brave Stance, Captain Obvious.

Butler 100% has money on these games.

They say something, you write a scathing takedown of their inadequate responses.

Does he have another face on his collarbone?

Has anyone reached out to the Tequila Cowboy for comment or is Jerry Jones too busy to talk?

Good on the second place finisher. Bad on whoever made this dumb rule.

I’ve never done cocaine. Is it true people like to snort it from between [redacted]? I’ve seen people use dollar bills in movies, but never a rolled-up FOIA request.

If the Jets were going to neuter someone they should have started with Antonio Cromartie.

Mike Matheny then immediately ordered his pitcher to bean the next nacho vendor he could find. The plan backfired on Matheny when he realized he just created loaded nachos instead.

No, don’t be bummed. What he did was the most diplomatic and tasteful compromise I can think of.

Here’s to hoping Dale follows in the footsteps of his distant cousin Chris and pitches ABC on a sting show where he arranges to meet white supremacists and nationalists he meets online...

Nothing wrong with giving the dealer the choice. Just ask them if they want to play or pocket the tip. They’ll answer honestly... 

While his points have merit, I question his motives. Removing all statues from Memphis seems like it’s just a sneaky way to get out of paying Chandler Parson’s contract.

Like some sort of ban?

I realize this will require the reader to do more research but simply pulling up the Twitter account and scrolling through the tweets reveals that he gives credit to the NYT and never suggests it was he alone who was scooped. Calling him “a bit of a fraud” is a bit dickish when he gives credit to the people whose work…

It’s tough to get anyone in Washington to admit to obstruction these days.

If pinto ain’t number one, the list has to be redone.

“Pffttt! Been fired more times than Sabrina, but I am still here.”

Of course. That’s not the point. Here’s the point. Let’s say you run a business and are interviewing one of his kids for a job. You get curious and Google her name. This story does not come up. That’s the point.

Last time a Kizer talked this big, the rest of us got drafted.