The Trailblazers is a terrible name for a sports team, and isn't even in the top 30 in North American Sports.

To be fair, it may have lost 1 or 2 since then.

First of all, the secret nature of his mission explains why no one’s ever heard of the man stranded in space for over a decade.

Comfort is Russian.

Great week to be a Seattle sports fan on Deadspin.

Juan Carlos Osorio, the guy who led perhaps the worst team in MLS history! I trust his judgment on the league!

I completely agree with this sentiment, and I’m a fourth-generation Seattleite and a lifelong Seahawks fan, and I have been absolutely astounded at what a bunch of pussies we have all become about losing to one of the best teams in the league. We have to learn to take these losses in stride and quit being a bunch of…

But will it give it to ya?

I’ve never met a Lacrosse player I didn’t wish for something like this to happen to...repeatedly.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Had no idea that Bram Kohlhausen was the English translation of Santa Anna.

You gotta admire the spirit. These people refuse to fold.

“Hey hun, would you mind spending the next couple of hours watching something that you have zero interest in?”

Considering the fact that Bud Lite drinkers don’t care how a beer looks or even tastes I can’t imagine that the can it comes in makes a difference.

If he were jerking off, he probably would have turned off the Victoria’s Secret show to avoid the distraction.

“Yeah, I don’t really get the whole Star Wars thing, but did you see King of Queens last week? Shit was hilarious!”

Somewhere in Buffalo, there’s a dump site filled with only broken tables.

UNLV alumnus here... I always thought the mascot was random and nonsensical for a place like modern-day freaking Las Vegas, so I wasn’t a huge fan, but I will say during the time that I went there (early 90s) I never really saw any over-reaching pride in Rebel-related shit among the student body that you’d see on…

Just tell them the truth: that you are a huge ungrateful piece of shit