And who are we blaming for the underperformance of 75% of the other movies Ridley Scott makes going all the way back to the 1970s? If you see one asshole audience, you’ve seen one group of assholes. If you see asshole audiences most every time you put out a movie, maybe you’re the asshole.

Did they hide more screens in it, perhaps inside the seats?

As someone who already owned a whirley pop, who has a big carton of flavacol, who has cheese powder, who has a special popcorn bowl, I can tell you it takes about 18 months to get a done with it. 

Do they contain 33% less Stuf than the original? Or, if 0.66 x 2 = 1.32, are they SLIGHTLY LARGER THAN THE ORIGINAL?

What a coincidence, I danced under the name “Doodoo Glitter” back in the ‘90s.

Take Torch’s advice at your ass’ peril. Those seats that look like a couch are awful for driving, they don’t hold you in place during even gentle turns, they’re too low to keep your neck from snapping in even the lightest fender-bender, they’re mushy so instead of conforming to you they just give and give and give…

That last one looks like someone was hitting mountains of coke while watching Knight Rider.

Look, I get that your therapist told you to work on your self-esteem issues, but this is not what they meant. I am still curious what price your winning sucker will actually pay for this, this is definitely one of the NPOND articles where I would love a follow-up.

I would love to try this, but the cost won’t be cheap at first. Honesty, the biggest hurdle these faux-meats have is texture, that specific chew that a steak has is such a big deal, that’s going to be as much make-or-break as taste.

Nice polo at best. I ain’t dining with the Queen o’ England over here, it’s just my dumbass cousins.

A Reminder That You Can Buy A BMW 2 Series With A Manual For Less Than A New Miata

Yeah, she sounds like a badass. Once the rig was lifted off, she crawled out on her own!

I didn’t think to try to eat them, the sticker came off so easily that I threw it away. I think the other 4 in the fridge have them though, I’ll go check...

Nutella shake sounds awful, genuinely bad, and I like Nutella. Hazelnut goop containing 8% chocolate is great on toast but why would you do that to a shake?

Why would this be in doubt? You would probably pass it undigested, it’s not especially large, it likely won’t get stuck in your colon or anything.

Four (4) parentheticals in the first paragraph, impressive.

Is it Restaurant Brands International’s intent to buy more national restaurants whose headquarters are in Florida?

Well yes, that is my expectation as well, but that’s not interesting.

What the frick would you do if you found bears eating KFC in your house?