No shit, but he left all his stuff to her and she could do whatever she wanted to her will.

Can we make “P-Ew” a thing?

He’s one perceived slight away from blowing a mystery powder in an opponent’s eyes while the ref’s back is turned.

But BRUCE ARENA!!!! RETURN TO GREATNESS!!!!! JOZY ALTIDORE WILL FINALLY LIVE UP TO HIS PROMISE AFTER 64 YEARS OF INTERNATIONAL PLAY!!! WORLD CUP ELIMINATION ROUNDS HERE WE COME

That’s actually just another pair of khakis folded up.

Alien McAlienFace

D.B. Pooper

Are you kidding me? Of course he does, and like a true winner, he finishes first.

At the end of the game, Jim yelled out “Who’s got it better than us?” and in unison, the family screamed “Nobody!” and then everybody went inside and had pancakes and fucked. The Aristocrats!!

Alternative headline:

We should all be so happy in life, regardless of our skill level.

Who needs him? Hey, anytime a team has no GM, an unproven DC and OC, and gives its 21-26-1 coach an extension, free agents just naturally flock to that team. It practically sells itself!

I don’t eat before working out because I don’t want to vomit. There was this one time that I ate some Boston Market and then went on a run.....it wasn’t pretty.

“... hit a set of spike strips going 115 MPH, subsequently barreled off of the road and into a drainage ditch, launched the truck into the air and landed on a car parked at a restaurant” 

As a white Christian, I agree with this 100%. Most Evangelicals, in my opinion, are people who like to use Christianity as an excuse to be the biggest possible dicks they can to their fellow human beings. And they’re mostly white.

hmmmmmm.....

Smoking weed everyday helps me in my recovery from that workout I did in ‘05.

"A little thing that can turn into anything at anytime."