But...he can play. Just not on defense. Wtf?

And Soto wasn’t anywhere near their clubhouse anyway. He’s a minor league nobody. He wasn’t even in the majors. God damn it.

that’s also not even close to how any of this works

Congratulations!

You have pointed out the least significant consequence of the Cubs adding Schwarber to the active roster.

You win a Nook e-Reader and a meet-and-greet with next year’s NFL draft “Mr. Irrelevant.”