Looking forward to losing to Western Illinois.

Sure. Pot kills exponentially fewer people than firearms.

Where did I say that?

Given that the civilized nations on this planet have collectively proved you to be absolutely, completely, and totally wrong, you are the one who is too stupid to live.

I disagree with you, Leslie, but that was uncalled for.

THey’re awesome! If your lifting!!!!

*ahem* It will virtually eradicate murders that are committed using firearms, fucktard.

The NRA is a subsidiary of the firearms industry. It’s job is to eliminate gun control laws and to stoke fear and paranoia to maximize gun sales. Mass shootings like this are opportunity to sell more guns.

Because Jesus wrote the Bill of Rights!

Just like all those criminals killing innocents with their RPGs and bazookas.

Yes!

Great list!

No, it won’t, but it will virtually eradicate gun crime and murder.

Australia, which had a crazy gun culture nearly as bad as ours did it recently. Pretty sure they’re doing OK.

Slavery

In positive news, The Colorado theater shooter got sentenced to, like, 5000 years in prison, so we never have to think about that asshole again.

Good question

Darren Rovell approves this message

For the record, I’m not insinuating Martellus stole pancakes by putting them down his undies, walking out, and eating them later.

Bears fans still wear Ditka’s Bears sweater. You know the one.