Putin and Trump are not a couple. That implies some autonomy on Trump’s side which isn’t there. Nope. Not Trumputin. It’s Putin and OfVlad. 

I’m secretly super stoked for boomers to go extinct. I’m already opening a museum and accepting donations for corduroy and big, shitty cars that they don’t make like they used to.

His excuse will be that he wasn’t harassing these women, he was only redrawing their borders

Based on my skin you’d think I was part of some breeding program to create the first entirely translucent human, but the test results are surprising. I was part of a DNA study so I got the free ancestry breakdown and all as part of that, and yeah, it’s mostly the pasty countries. British isles and Germany, which is…

God rn on Miller:

“TREASON?”

Petty AF white Scorpio checking in!   Natural born grudge holders, we Scorpios are.   And I’ve had a list for YEARS.   My best friend from high school gets to say who stays and who has to GTFO.    There are even some member of what some people would call family on that list.

Do you know how petty you have to be to be dying from cancer, to put together a list of people who better not be at your funeral?

Oh Mike, we all yearn for a more respectful time, but the problem is I want a time where all people are respected, and you want a time where women and black people weren’t so upity.

I lold

When the dominos begin to fall, and the punishments are meted out, there is only one that will suit Ivanka.

McConnell ALL DAY LONG. It’s turtles all the way down, folks.

Right now...at my desk...at work.

I quietly cried on the subway. What a beautiful tribute to a beautiful soul.

A designed idea to draw attention away from Mueller investigation. Fuck Space Force.

Fairy wrens are so adorable. I once saw one trying to woo a female, but he did not have any luck. They are so tiny!

Presumably, we could operate with a drastically reduced overall white man supply by employing some kind of sharing service. Maybe call it Ubermench.

Omg so much this. One of my first jobs, I show up one morning and there are new burglar bars ... on the INSIDE of all the windows. Turns out a co-worker (always an entitled prat) put his fist through a window the day before.