It’s not a paucity of grocers or high housing prices keeping hipsters out of Detroit. It’s that whole pesky employment thing.

Beto ain’t winning shit. We liberals fucking love our pipe dream red state candidates, every once in a while one of them wins in a tiny state like Montana (Tester). But someplace like Texas? Get the fuck out of here.

Leveraged buyouts are such utter bullshit. Lemme buy your company from you, I’ll only need to borrow 80% of the money using your existing income as my proof of ability to repay.

Is this ranking by quality of car, quality of video game, or how well the name fits both?

Are we thinking this was probably blocking below the waist or more along the lines of illegal batting?

Seems that way, but what a way to flip the trope with a woman doing all the killing, fucking, spying, general badassing that Bond does. When you reserve the premium spy brands like Bond and Bourne for men, you’re necessarily perpetuating all the stereotypes.

Go watch Luther and come back and tell me Idris Elba isn’t a leading man.

Same score, though I had Canelo taking 1,2,10-12.

This guy isn’t going to prison or have you just started paying attention literally right now?

Counterpoint: EVERYTHING IS AWFUL AND THE ONLY SOLUTION IS TO DRINK MYSELF TO DEATH

“Are you smoking in my car because that’s where you just cheated on me?”

America has become a country of weaklings who get offended at the smallest inconsequential things due in large part to social media

Nothing a balaclava, a key and 20 minutes can’t fix.

Yeah fuck rich people! They don’t deserve to evacuate safely, they have money!

And on a bullshit red card no less.

Thanks, I was looking for a new example of mansplaining, and this is fucking spot on: Lengthy to the point of rambling, condescending, and all on a subject it’s literally impossible for you to know anything about.

“the error, the bloop, the bleeder, and the long one.”

Cocktail proposal for the three ingredient happy hour:

The Jose Fernandez:
1 oz. cuban rum
1 fingernail cocaine
1 drop fish oil.

That’s not a volley. It’s not even close to being a volley.

Snatching credit cards? What is this 1994? What other mischief will you get up to? Fast forwarding movies before the go back to Blockbuster so your owner (you) has to pay the $1 didn’t rewind fee?